Dominating Fate
by Goddess Nekko
Summary: Fate has given Kenshin a chance to save Tomoe, yet the future remains a dark and dangerous place. Insightful and exciting, even Hiko is forced to join the chaos.
1. The Ocean at Midnight (PG13)

Rurouni Kenshin OVA (Independent Series)

"Dominating Fate"

By: Goddess Nekko

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_Disclaimer/Warning: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters, I just felt like creating my own OVA series, and so I will. Do not bother to sue me, I have no money anyway - this is just all in good fun! I must warn there will be descriptive sexual acts, so those of you who find it offensive or shouldn't be reading it, you may want to skip chapter 2 (I didn't want to rate the entire thing NC-17 if other chapters are only PG, ya know?). It is because of the different events in this fic that I am going to be rating each chapter individually! Anyhoo, you're free to continue, and, NO - they will __not be __tasteless acts of sexual desire! Those of you who have read my previous works will believe me on that. ^_~_

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Author's Notes: Hello! Glad you have decided to read (and review! *hint hint*) my fic! I had attempted something like this before, Tomoe survives and what happens next, but that first attempt was a flop ("Taming of the Heart") and I have somewhat more insight now - more or less a better approach… Please behold - THE SECOND ATTEMPT! This version shall be written and completed, so hopefully no one will be mad I trashed the other one (this in _no way will lose the vibrancy, intensity, or insight of the other)! Anyway, before I begin, I just wanted to bring to light the subject of Kenshin and Tomoe's sex life - First off, their whole relationship is hidden, the manga and OVA leaving things to be desired, but that's where I step in. Tomoe is more than a stoic, cold, emotionless woman - Her warmth is what calmed and centered Kenshin's torrential soul. So, to fill the gap left by our wonderful Watsuki-san, I give you this fic, dancing along the lines of alternate reality simply because I have dubbed myself Fate, and given this eternal couple a chance at love and life. By the way, you'll find out I don't believe in short chapters._

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Chapter 1: The Ocean at Midnight

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                The midday sun was shrouded by a thick blanket of gray rain clouds. The initial downpour from the early morning had passed, leaving the earth cold, wet, and dark. Kenshin gazed at the rain sodden land from the doorway of his makeshift home, his pacifistic face trying to assess the damage done by the heavy shower. Silently Tomoe appeared at his side, delicately gripping her umbrella aware the heavy rain clouds were still capable to produce a steady rainfall in a moment's notice.

                Acknowledging her with a slight glance, Kenshin and Tomoe tread slowly over the damp, muddy earth to their modest garden. Puddles of water rose between the tiny peaks of sprouting seedlings, droplets of water gathered and dripping from the delicate leaves.

                "There has been so much rain. Will these survive?" Tomoe inquired in her usual quiet tone. In answer Kenshin kneeled near a row of plants, carefully brushing the excess water from one of the small plant's slightly drooping leaves.

                "It'll be fine. At least half of these should survive, but hopefully the weather will let up a bit," he added, his voice soft, detached, as he mused over the success of his idea. Tomoe gave him a small acknowledging nod, but to his disappointment, nothing more. 

He sighed softly, regretful so few words passed between them. That simple truth reminded him how thankful he was for even their small conversations like this, never letting that gratitude slip away even if it was only the bad weather he could thank. Her voice was soothing to him, though he oftentimes found it too soft, too obedient… _Does she hate that she has to stay with me? That she has been asked to play the part of my wife in this ruse to hide our true identities…__? __Will she ever tell me the truth about herself, her feelings…__? Could I…__ could I really be a man, a husband, worthy of her love…__? _

He closed his eyes and exhaled. He had encountered these questions several times, though he had never chosen to confront them, stirring his subconscious to scold him with an oft repeated, torturing phrase - _You run from the truth, hide in the shadows of your own denial… _

That was… until now. Ever so slowly a strange emotion had begun to dominate the others that oftentimes left him confused and anxious, in a constant fight to push the unfamiliar feelings away. Something deep inside his soul was forcing him to face his innermost self, and the battle raging inside him that demanded to know the truth was screaming so loudly he could no longer ignore it. 

                Absentmindedly Kenshin fiddled with a small plant, bringing his hand to his face to wipe away a small droplet of water that had suddenly dripped onto his cheek. So cold… He had spent many months living with Tomoe, plagued with a fear that she regretted her agreement to flee with him. He knew close to nothing about her, a nagging thought that quietly became more insistent. Yet, he had often observed her interest in discussing his way of life, realizing it was only these conversations where she seemed strangely eager, a certain flicker in the darkness of her eyes. He often forgot his suspicions of her as he frequently began to search his inner-self, encouraged by her quiet words, his subconscious welcoming the intrusion as it too sought answers. Nevertheless, her curiosity did not go unnoticed, especially when she would catch him constantly off-guard with a question or comment he could never readily respond to with his true heart. 

Inwardly he laughed bitterly at himself, realizing he was finding answers he had never consciously sought, thankful for her presence when he knew he was not worthy of it. It was now he discovered most of the quiet between them had been born from his own silence as he searched his soul for truth - the truth of his actions, the truth in their results, the truth lying in his own struggling heart.

                As always, in the secret quiet of their surroundings, Tomoe observed him. She herself had seen something she could never fathom - the gentleness of Battousai. The name shook her to the very core, stirring memories she often shut out to avoid losing her direction and merely killing herself instead of leading Battousai to his much deserved execution… Yet, things were changing inside her. Feelings began to contradict each other and her long-believed truth _he was to blame slowly began to crumble as her blood cooled and the hatred she had carried for so long began to shift to a new victim - herself.  __This Himura Kenshin…__ Is he really Battousai? The insane demon who wields a sword dripping with red death? The man who brings the bloody rain…__? This gentle man with blue eyes that glitter like the ocean during a full moon…__? I sought your death…__ for selfish reasons…__ and I have brought myself to a level of hatred I have never seen you hold…_

                She realized then, following the haggard features of his young face with her careful eyes, he was a boy who had been thrown into the world of adulthood, coming of age years before what was expected. True, she had believed him to look as innocent as a child in sleep, but he was trained beyond that kind of innocence. He was a boy who had seen and done much, now a man who could never hope to find the lost childhood hidden and falling deeper into the past. 

Seeing his flaws, silently observing him day after day, hate transformed into respect, anger changed to understanding. He was like any human, any man, and there was still so much to learn… Slowly kneeling beside him, she led her finger over a soft leaflet, gazing at the beaded moisture gathered and dripping from her finger before absently tracing a kanji character into the wet earth.

                "Tomoe…"

                A long silence followed the word, so softly spoken it seemed as though the slight breeze in the air had been the one to whisper her name before carefully taking flight to hide in the gray sky the instant it had been uttered. Her eyes now drawn to the man beside her, she gasped silently as he looked toward her. Kenshin's blue eyes widened slightly, met with the intense dark almond of her own, finding something dancing in her eyes he could not name - had never seen before. His mouth parting in surprise, he merely stared as she brought a hand to his cheek, running a delicate finger along the softness of his face, careful to avoid touching the scar engraved on his left cheek.  Yet, she saw beyond the wound running its red path from high on his cheekbone to just slightly below his lip, Kenshin's reflex to pull his face away numbed by shock.  She had never touched him before… 

                Again he saw the glitter in her eyes, his gaze drawn inquisitively to the motion of her lips as they fought against… 

_A smile…__? _

Unsure of himself, he looked away, staring into the mirror-like reflection of the water at his feet. It was then that he saw what had caused such a reaction from her. Along his cheek was a line of brown earth, the initial marking smudged by her own addition of wet earth. Laughter… That was what he had seen in her eyes. He could understand completely - how awkward, unusual, to see Battousai, feared and deadly, with mud unintentionally smudged onto his cheek. Tomoe's own amusement had shocked him, yet that tiny telltale reaction assured him she did not fear him, maybe even trusted him. Even when the dark voice in his mind scolded him for the thought, he could not deny the relief he felt. The tension of so many months began to melt away as Kenshin shared in the surprised delight sparkling in Tomoe's eyes. Her warmth spread through him, relaxing his long-abused, wary-stiffened body. Yet, this urged him to tread the waters he had for so long avoided - almost feared to disturb… 

                With a shy smirk born from uncertainty and determination, Kenshin secretly led his fingers through some of the thick mud, turning to Tomoe and spreading a line of wet, brown earth over her pale skin. She looked up at him, startled, the thick substance cold and sticky on her cheek.  This was something she had not expected from Kenshin… 

For a moment he felt he had disrespected her, watching closely for her reaction. He had chosen to take hold of the seeming opportunity offering to reveal more about her, this mysterious woman…  But even more to indulge in a playfulness he had left untouched for so many years. The sensations were more than welcomed by his starved soul, his curiosity becoming a dominant driving force over his actions.

Patiently, silently, he waited. _What will she do? Something about the way she held herself told him to keep on his guard. He could not ignore the fact he found no anger or irritation, just innocent surprise, shaping her delicate features._

                Her face deceptively sedate, Tomoe gracefully reached to a puddle to gather water to wash the mud from her pale cheek, Kenshin frowning with slight embarrassment as he looked away, believing himself to have made a grave mistake in reading the situation. _What was I expecting? For such a beautiful and refined woman to 'play'? __Will I ever have a chance of reading you correctly, my mysterious Tomoe…__?_

                "Gomen nasai… You had mud on your cheek… I had not realized there was some on my hand before I reached to wipe it away," she apologized sincerely, her voice once again much too submissive for Kenshin's liking. He kept his gaze averted, knowing she kept her head bowed and out of his sight, his face emotionless as he then looked to the sky. _'My'…__? I have no right to think of you that way…_

                "Sumanu… I should not have put any on your-"

                Kenshin faltered in his words as he happened to look toward Tomoe, her hand sporting a generous amount of mud as she captured his gaze.

                "Cheek? Yes, it's very disrespectful," Tomoe teased softly, her voice surprisingly steady, her outward appearance calm. He could only stare as she spread some of the wet earth over his nose, the rest she used to paint his chest. Kenshin gulped inwardly, chills sparking in his body as Tomoe's warm fingertips slid over his cold, mud-covered flesh. His outward expression displayed nothing but surprise, shock, but inside he became resolute. He decided then and there, to pull from her the small smile dancing, teasing, at the edges of her rosy lips, he would join in this battle. He couldn't deny the strange pleasure he found in his inability to suppress the grin he felt surfacing from deep inside himself. 

                "I'm sorry… I apologized," Kenshin replied, the beginnings of a grin adorning his face as he gathered a small pile of muddy earth onto his fingertips. Tomoe watched Kenshin attentively as she attempted to gather her wits, finding trouble in keeping her emotionless mask in place. Such an unusual yet welcomed delight had run through her when she had first seen the mud on his cheek. Like catching Battousai off-guard. Swift reality struck, reminding her it was simply a man she stayed with. A man who felt and hurt as any other… She had been shocked by his response, unprepared for his gentle yet mischievous intentions, but his childlike actions eased her uncertainty and the last of her sorrows were being remedied by his promise of light-hearted play. The deepest part of her that had seen happiness - that had longed for the carefree days of summer and games - was beginning to surface. 

Her expression remained steady, hiding the last of her uncertainty, yet she was breathless staring into this new world that lay before her, a new world that promised a new life. _I could never imagine…__ playing in the mud with you, Akira-san…__ I believed it was impossible for my wounds to heal, yet these same wounds you have inflicted, Himura,, are being mended by your touch…__ I still believe I should avenge the unjust death of my first love, but even in dreams, my fiancé looks upon you expressionless with a fallen blossom in his hand…__ No anger, no sadness…__ I feel as though he is urging me to stay with you, to accept you as the man you are, to share in the comfort I have begun to feel when I am with you…__ Though it makes me wonder…__ What happened that night, the night everything ended and began…__? _

                Tomoe cried out in surprise as she was pulled from her musings by the feel of cold, wet mud being spread thickly over her cheeks. She stared at Kenshin who was now grinning quite openly. It eased her heart to see the truth in his smile, and conscious thought left her in that delicate moment.

                "I never would have thought… you could act like such a…" 

Tomoe watched him carefully with wide, glittering eyes, the deep blue of his own darkening with some unknown emotion as he moved towards her and cupped her cheek in his hand, slowly closing the gap between them. Never before had he felt such acceptance, such caring from a single person, and it drew him to her. Did she realize she was smiling now, willingly showing her hidden self to him? A part of him was awakening, and it made his fingers tingle, wanting to touch this almost surreal being that brought humanity to the darkest part of his soul. 

The warmth of his hand tingled against her skin, bidding her unable to move, unable to understand his sudden change in mood.

                "Such a…" 

Tomoe's heart began to quicken as he leaned closer, mere inches separating his lips from hers. A chill ran up her spine as a devilish golden flicker flashed in his eyes, trapping her in his gaze. Unbeknownst to Tomoe, Kenshin's savage, hungry shadow titled Hitokiri Battousai had been challenged by her mysterious ways, her gentleness. She was the only person he had ever been unable to read, never capable to know in the slightest what she was thinking, feeling… and it drove that deepest part of him into a submission and want. However, Kenshin recognized the intense feelings and tamped down on them, controlling the part of him that wished to scream 'I want you'… _Because I care for you… _

Through all they had experienced, all the quiet, she had taken hold of his heart. He was surprised by what he found in her these last few moments, few weeks, but he would never trade it for anything in the world. For everything she had taught him, for everything she had forced him to face within himself - he wanted to thank her. He wanted her to know he understood the quiet, subtle joys of life, of her company… He wanted to tell her what he had seen in her. His opportunity was laid bare and he would not let it slip away. 

                "Such a tomboy," he finally finished. Tomoe felt her jaw go lax, trying to control it from dropping too visibly in utter surprise as Kenshin carefully placed a muddied finger against her nose, grinning lightly, contentedly, the faint golden flicker fading from his eyes. _Battousai…__? Yet the thought was instantly forgotten and the present remained - and for the first time she let herself react. _

The simple way he had so confidently titled her apparent playfulness struck a chord in her pride, and with little thought she gathered a handful of mud into her palm and plopped it onto Kenshin's head. He blinked, the mischievous flicker gone, suddenly aware of his closeness to her. He continued to smile in spite of himself seeing the slightly confused pout on Tomoe's face, grinning apologetically as he then distanced himself once again. 

                "Tomboy?" she echoed curiously, her voice betraying subtle bemusement. Kenshin grinned good-humoredly as he watched her rise to her feet, wondering how to explain himself. He inhaled deeply as he readied himself to clarify his reasoning.

                "You're so beautiful, so refined… however, woman like that are very unlikely to participate in a mud fight the way you have, " he explained with a light chuckle. "You hold a definite pride about you, and over the last few weeks I've noticed a certain fire in your eyes, low, but there. I was willing to risk any punishment if I could learn something about you." 

Tomoe quickly looked away from him, Kenshin's expression softening in its seriousness. His outward appearance did not hint even slightly the shock he felt from his own words, his heart beating faster as he swiftly searched for what was to blame for his loose tongue. _No…__ I truly __feel this way, even if I had made up my mind never to care, never to ask…__ I lied to myself believing it was unimportant…__ I want to know everything about you…__ and why I have come to feel this way…__ I want to protect you…__ though first I must find a balance in my soul even if it means answering the questions I have been running from…__ I believe, even if I'm unworthy of it, that if you're by my side…__ I can… _

Tomoe felt her cheeks begin to burn from the outward compliment, though guilt swiftly took its place. _Will I ever be able to tell you the truth…__? You trust me, I can see that now…__ I've only been shaming myself clinging to this idea of handing you over to the soldiers of the Shogunate… Though the thought brought her pain, it was immediately disrupted as a generous amount of mud landed with a heavy splat against her shoulder. Instantly her eyes were on Kenshin, the young man grinning as he too rose to his feet. Struggling slightly in her constricting kimono, Tomoe kneeled down to gather more mud for a counterattack - but Kenshin was quicker. _

                Tomoe gave a slight cry, still kneeling on the wet ground as Kenshin gathered more of the wet earth in his hand and got behind her, placing the cold, wet sludge over her neck. Immediately Tomoe was on her feet, two handfuls of mud in each fist, turning and rushing toward Kenshin who in turn began to retreat. Yet, as he shot a glance over his shoulder he was suddenly unable to move, ensnared by the enchantment of her smile. Tomoe, however, was unaware he would stop so abruptly, slipping in the mud as she tried unsuccessfully to get a new foothold. Kenshin reflexively tried to catch her as they collided, but he too lost his footing and the two of them went sliding helplessly over the slick ground before falling most ungracefully to the wet, hard earth.

                Kenshin could not, would not, control the laughter that overcame him, a sound that was strangely pleasing as it escaped its confines to harmonize with Tomoe's quiet laughter as she looked up at Kenshin's mud-covered face. Tomoe smiled, gazing into his eyes, lying over Kenshin's chest as he kept his arms tight around her, clutching her to him so he would take the impact of the fall. His back gave a slight twinge of objection from the recent abuse, but Kenshin could hear nothing except Tomoe's angelic laughter, see nothing but her curved, rosy lips. The infinite depths of his blue eyes were caught in the storm of emotion that glittered like dark topaz in Tomoe's gaze. The quiet, the closeness, Kenshin's lips were tingling, yearning, trembling, and without conscious thought he raised his hand to carefully cradle her head, urging Tomoe's lips to his as he raised his head.

                Tomoe did not pull away, gasping softly the moment their lips touched, her mind flooded with wordless emotion that tangled in her senses and made her lightheaded. The warmth, the softness - Kenshin's mind blanked completely, aware of only Tomoe and the heat that streamed through him. Carefully threading his fingers through her silky, raven strands, he gently held her closer to him, needing a deeper caress, deeper contact. Tomoe granted him what he silently asked for, unable to breath until suddenly Kenshin broke the kiss, his breathing just noticeably unsteady as he gazed into her eyes. Yet, the uncertainty in his azure orbs led her to question her own willingness of such intimacy, and her cheeks flushed. Carefully averting her gaze, Tomoe moved off of him, quietly kneeling beside him.

                "Tomoe… Sumanu," Kenshin stammered under his breath. His heart beat restlessly as he struggled to gain control of his rational mind, but he realized then his nervousness, fears, and doubts were all being overshadowed by one dominate emotion - his love for her. _I refuse to deny my feelings any longer… __if I can again see that look in your eyes…_

Kenshin wondered mildly how he had mustered the courage to instigate such intimacy, but in answer his subconscious reminded him how naturally the action had taken place, how soft and warm her lips had been against his own. Not only had he found confidence observing first-hand as Tomoe's cold, rigid attitude toward him slowly melted away, but he found a gentleness in himself he had never known - and his breath caught in his throat knowing for the first time he felt content, felt love. Her happiness… He wished to protect it… To protect the light that had come into her eyes. He sat up slowly, mud caked to the back of his clothes and hair, his head drooping as realization hit him. _Does she…__ could she love me? I, the man who brings the bloody rain…__? What a foolish thought when I know I am unworthy of such warmth…__ Yet, how…__?_

                "How can you do this to me…?"

                Tomoe turned to Kenshin, wondering dimly if she had imagined his almost inaudible question. She caught his gaze, finding self-denial and yearning mixed into a glittering tidal wave of emotion that shimmered in his eyes before he quickly turned his head away. 

Now was the time. She had to face her heart, answer his question… The true question she knew he could never voice, that she herself could never speak. Gracefully she positioned herself to face him fully, using the gentle urgings of her fingertips to lift his face to meet her gaze. A sharp pain struck her heart when she saw the almost hopeless expression of his features. She decided then, knowing there was no turning back, that she must answer him.

                Kenshin watched her for only moments before he let out a deep sigh, his eyes closing, unable to face the woman always in his dreams, in his thoughts. Her soft voice, silken hands… _I am not worthy of you…__ my hands will always be dripping with blood… He shivered undetectably as Tomoe gently stroked his hair away from his face, placing feather-light kisses on his closed lids. He let out another sigh, opening his eyes as she sat back, once again finding himself lost in her gentle smile - the sweet, tender smile that reflected in the deep almond of her eyes. She took hold of his hands, and when he gazed down at her delicate fingers his entire body relaxed. There was no blood, only the brown earth of the field they worked side by side. Yet, there was something else as well. Ever so faintly he could see her shivering, could feel the slight tremors, looking up at her again worriedly._

                "Sumanu! We should get cleaned up and dried off, you're shivering!" Kenshin stated worriedly as he hurriedly got to his feet, helping Tomoe in turn.

                "I'm fine," Tomoe assured him, but Kenshin ignored her claim as he searched for something to warm her with. They were covered in mud, wet and dripping, and he didn't want to dirty the home Tomoe had spent the morning cleaning.

                "And the firewood is soaked through… shikashi…"

                Tomoe looked at Kenshin, baffled, especially as his expression suddenly changed. There was something dancing in his eyes she did not recognize. Again she tried to tell him she was fine, but he was already intent on tending to her comfort and did not hear her.

                "I know the perfect place… I'll be right back." Without any further explanation, Tomoe watched as Kenshin hurried toward the bathhouse, mud falling intermittently from his earth-caked clothes. She watched him curiously as he disappeared inside, returning moments later with two robes in his hand. He gave her his smile as he reached for her hand. Still watching him with questioning eyes, she placed her hand in his own.

                "Follow me."

                Tomoe knew she could do no more than simply follow his lead. Carefully Kenshin guided her away from their home, deeper into the adjoining forest nearby. Tomoe quickly gathered her wits about her, shook from her stupor feeling her hand clutched so protectively in Kenshin's. 

                "Where are we going?" she asked quietly. Kenshin turned his head to smile at her, making sure she was able to follow easily even in her awkward, binding kimono.

                "When we first came here, while you were fixing up the house to make it livable, I searched the area for anything suspicious. I got… sidetracked… and wandered further than I'd intended, and that's when I came upon it," Kenshin explained. Tomoe loved the new sound in his voice, the excitement, but it baffled her even further.

                "Came upon what?" she asked, wondering if he would tell her. He seemed to enjoy the secret he held. As she suspected, he flashed her another warm grin and continued on without explanation.

                "You'll see," he replied simply. Tomoe tugged on his hand, though the only response she received was his smile. Yet, the wind was beginning to pick up, and the cold blew over her face, distracting her from her thoughts feeling the uncomfortable chill piercing her fingers. This only brought her to worry about Kenshin's comfort, though she giggled softly to herself remembering a layer of mud protected his partially exposed chest.

                Kenshin breathed deep of the inviting scents of the forest through which he lead Tomoe, so clean and fresh, the scent of rain still heavy in the air. Another deep breath and Tomoe's sweet scent filled his nostrils. _Haku baiko…__ He gripped her hand more firmly in his own as they walked, moments later pulled from his intoxicated state as he spied the mists rising from the ground just a few feet in the distance beyond the next grouping of trees._

                Tomoe wondered dimly how much further he was planning to take them, though she was glad to watch the beautiful scenery as she followed close behind Kenshin. The trees glistened with moisture, the atmosphere almost surreal in its perfection. Or perhaps it was her own happiness that changed her perception, safe in the hands of her love. Again another pang of guilt made her flinch, and Kenshin threw her a curious glance over his shoulder as he felt the slight clenching of her hand. She merely smiled, trying to catch up with his hurried pace, wondering if he was aware how he had begun to speed up the closer they got to their destination. She smiled inwardly, captivated by his enthusiasm. 

                "Are we close?" Tomoe inquired, a slight shiver causing her body to shake as a swift breeze came and went. Then she saw it, the mist rising in a thin cloud from the earth, just barely noticeable. Kenshin turned around then, grinning, as Tomoe realized where it was he had brought them.

                "A hot spring?" she mused. "You did wander a bit far, didn't you?"

                "Aa. Shikashi, I believe this is the best solution to our, well, situation," he replied. He seemed to realize belatedly that bringing her here meant they would be alone… together… unclothed… Yet, when he nervously looked to Tomoe she reassured him with a smile.

                "This is perfect. I haven't enjoyed a natural hot spring for a long time, though I wish I had my…" Tomoe became silent, biting her tongue so she wouldn't sound ungrateful he had been so considerate to bring her here at all. Yet Kenshin nodded, already knowing, moving apart the robes he held to reveal the scented oils and soaps she was so fond of. He hadn't needed her to tell him her delight - it was obvious in her eyes, along with her relief. Tomoe then shifted her gaze to the hot spring, Kenshin doing the same. It looked more than welcoming as the cold wind lashed out at their faces once again, but neither moved.

                Long moments passed as they walked slowly towards the tempting liquid heat. A tree nearby offered a limb perfect to hang their clothes. Kenshin then turned to Tomoe, his expression soft.

                "I'll hang our clothes over here, if you'd like to get in first," Kenshin offered. Relief washed over Tomoe. Though she expected a situation of this nature might occur, her modesty overrode her calmness. She had never been naked in the presence of a man before. Her relationship with Akira had not gone beyond gentle kisses. She smiled, flushing inwardly, wondering if Kenshin was as nervous as she felt. Upon watching him, however, she could trace no hints of it. She wondered dimly if he had ever been to a whorehouse, though he was so young. Oftentimes soldiers were given the opportunity when they became restless. She quickly decided it was very much unlike him, realizing then that she may have been the one to accept his first kiss…

                Tomoe nodded, slipping off her sandals and removing her tabi. The ground was cold, especially against her instep, but she ignored it as she reached to untie her obi. It was a task she had learned to deal with on her own, however it was still difficult by herself. Kenshin seemed to notice this, and was almost instantly behind her, carefully pushing her hands away so he could assist her.

                "Arigatou," she whispered as he completed the task, holding the obi as she turned to face him, but he merely nodded and turned his back to her. 

                "I promise I won't look," he whispered, surprised by the sound of his voice. Tomoe smiled at his first demonstration of nervousness, though she could almost believe there was something deeper, more desperate hidden within the undertone. She parted her kimono, the robe underneath, and let the clothes slip to the ground before she carefully, yet quickly, stepped into the heat of the spring. Unable to prevent it, she let out a contented sigh, the hot liquid caressing her body and soothing her muscles as she sank into it, the almost unbearable heat causing her to clench her teeth momentarily as her body adjusted.

The soft rippling of the water signaled to Kenshin that it was safe to turn around. His eyes followed the ground, having heard the clothing drop there, gathering the pile and secretly breathing in the scent lingering on the fabric as he hung it over the limb next to the clean robes he had brought. He let his fingers slide over the soft, light blue fabric of her kimono before turning toward the spring.

                His breath caught in his throat the moment he dared to turn around. Tomoe's back was to him, her shoulders visible above the water as she struggled to gather her hair on top of her head. He watched, hypnotized, as her delicate, slender fingers struggled to tie her hair into a bun, loose strands dangling temptingly around her neck.  The steam of the water danced enchantingly over her bare skin in the glow of the storm-cloud hidden sun. He gulped. As she moved, the roundness of the front of her chest peeked out. 

                Once satisfied her hair would stay up for the time needed, Tomoe dropped lower into the water and turned to face Kenshin. As her eyes met his, he coughed, seeking some excuse to look away. She smiled in fond amusement, the seconds she had seen his face awe-stricken and wide-eyed a picture she would lock into her memory. Seeing him so nervous, a certain courage - playfulness - took hold of her.

                "Are you coming?" she asked quietly, her tone almost teasing were it not for the provocative undertone. She lowered herself more into the steaming water, her shoulders submerged, watching Kenshin through her lashes as her body relaxed in the large spring.

                He nodded, nonchalantly loosening the tie of his hakama, staring at the ground. He could still feel her eyes on him, and though it sent a certain thrill through his body, he also found something else he hadn't given much thought to - modesty. Suddenly he tightened the knot, and Tomoe watched him curiously. He reached down and picked up the items he had brought, walking to the edge of the spring and setting them down. Tomoe smiled at him, the water rippling against her slim shoulders, her skin slick and shining. 

                Again Kenshin's breath left him, and he turned his attention toward organizing the soaps.

                "Didn't want to forget these," he explained before turning back to his original task. He heard Tomoe move in the water and glanced over his shoulder, finding Tomoe's back to him once more. 

                "You turned away for me, so I shall do the same for you," Tomoe stated, answering his unvoiced question. Kenshin laughed inwardly at himself as he felt a great wave of relief splash over him. Hurriedly he untied the knot of his hakama, removing his tabi as he stepped out of the pile of fabric. He hung it over the tree branch and couldn't help himself from glancing back at Tomoe to see if she still had her back turned. He laughed at himself again as he found her merely trying to wipe the mud from her cheeks. _Why am I so nervous? I would have heard her if she had turned around… Again the mocking laugh resounded in his head and silently he screamed at it to go away - point made, point taken. _

He frowned. She was calm as could be, and he should feel the same. It was just a simple bath. He had taken many baths before… though not with women. He had no reason to be embarrassed by his body… though he was still undergoing puberty. 

                He ignored the thought. In his mind, he was a man. Through all the fighting, all the assassinations, he realized he had been denied even the right of the natural passage of time. His body was trained, sculpted, his long, auburn hair its own silent rebellion. 

                Quickly he removed his gi and turned around, ready to make a mad dash into the privacy of the water, but he was frozen as beautiful, dancing brown eyes met his. Kenshin swallowed hard as he felt a flush come to his cheeks, though he mustered all his courage and pushed it away, striding toward the spring and slipping in. Tomoe was an arm's length away from him and she giggled as he flashed her a frustrated, disapproving look.

                "You promised," he mumbled. Tomoe smiled softly, Kenshin's slight frown once again overpowered by his recently dominant grin.

                "You have nothing to be ashamed of," Tomoe reassured him, much too casually. Kenshin coughed, turning away slightly as he sought a comfortable place to lounge - anything to distract himself from the blunt comment. He felt around the water for a few moments before finding a satisfactory seat, leaning against the edge of the spring as he watched Tomoe. It seemed she had given up trying to get all the mud off, a few smudges remaining on her cheeks, and to his delight the slight smudge on the tip of her nose. Yet, he was entranced with her delicate beauty, observing silently as she gathered water into her cupped hands, watching as the sparkling liquid escaped through her fingers.

                "Would you let me wash your hair?"

                Kenshin was silent, staring. Broken from his quiet observations, he stared down at the water, unaware of his grip on the rock just below him. For a long moment, he was unable to speak a word. Such a simple question, why was it so hard to answer? No one had ever offered anything like that to him. Ever. It seemed so strange, someone wanting to do something for him. Though, Tomoe had done so much for him, numerous things he knew he could never repay… _Tomoe…_

After a few moments of his silence, Tomoe looked up questioningly, worried she had crossed a line he was unwilling to tolerate.

                "Gomen nasai, demo-"

                "Tomoe, I… would love it if you did," he interrupted quietly. He hadn't liked the way her expression changed when he had been late to answer - sorrowful as if he had rejected her - and he knew this simple act would aid in the demolition of the wall that had been for so long standing between them. He could prove his trust… his affections. 

                Tomoe seemed surprised by his answer, but more than willing to comply. She moved toward the edge of the spring where Kenshin had placed her soaps, but then stopped and turned towards him. Kenshin had been attempting to clean the mud off of his face and looked up curiously. There was a small smile playing on her lips, the look on her face almost mischievous. He watched her, waiting, wondering.

                "Not until you clean the mud off my neck you so graciously supplied earlier," Tomoe stated. Kenshin grinned, splashing a bit more water on his face, dripping from his bangs as he moved towards her.

                "Aa." 

Tomoe watched him as he first went past her, but he merely took hold of the soap he had brought, returning to her moments later. His face looked gentle, caring, holding something she couldn't name that sent warmth rippling through her already heated body. He held her gaze as he moved toward her, placing a careful hand on her smooth shoulder, urging her to turn so her back was to him. 

Tomoe's shoulder tingled under the feel of his hand on her skin, her stomach tumbling from his closeness. Unknown to her, Kenshin inhaled deeply, readying himself to touch her. Such beauty, such softness, directly under his fingertips… Carefully he lathered his hand, pressing it against the base of her neck before stroking over it repeatedly to remove the dirt. Contentment washed over him, the simple act soothing, careful not to miss a single spot as he continued the cleansing that had deepened into a light massage. Her skin was softer than he had imagined, intrigued as she moved into his touch, leaning back. Unbeknownst to him, Tomoe's nervousness was slowly fading, frustrated his touch was so light.

                "How am I to get clean if you treat me like a porcelain doll?" Tomoe voiced softly. Kenshin smiled, giving her a firmer touch. True enough, the added pressure quickly rid her skin of the wet earth, and with the initial task done he bid his hands to trail along her jugular and forward just enough to play against her collar bone before retreating. He lightly splashed some water onto her, removing the thin layer of foam.

                Tomoe's eyes were closed, indulging in his gentle touch. The warmth of his hand against her bare skin was enough to make her dizzy, the rough feel as he carefully cleaned her shoulders sending a pleasant shiver over her body, nestling low in her belly. The thin mists continued to rise and dance around them, Kenshin placing both his hands on Tomoe's shoulders, simply rubbing. He gazed at the pale skin, skin he had been given the permission to touch - his lips yearning to sample the flesh.

                A sudden pulse between his legs made him start, and he backed up. The part of himself he had never given much attention to - never really thought about - gave a decisive twitch. Unsure of the sensation, he stood helpless gaping wide-eyed at Tomoe's back. She seemed to notice his sudden actions and turned toward him, a confused expression on her face. He simply smiled, closing his eyes, trying to control the strange feelings beginning to overwhelm him.

                Kenshin started suddenly, sensing Tomoe encircling her arms around him. She did not, however, make contact with his body as he stared intently at the water's surface, leaving him confused until he felt her tugging on the tie in his hair. Quickly she freed the auburn strands, letting them cascade over their master's shoulders. She gave a content sigh, smiling slightly as she saw Kenshin tense. True enough, it was then that Kenshin realized how close she was - a private, tempting part of her just below the water's surface slightly obscured from view. Firm and peaked… Kenshin suddenly felt a yearning to wrap Tomoe in his embrace, taste every inch of her pearled flesh. That yearning rippled in a wave of sensation through his body, the center once again pitting at his groin.

                "Tomoe…" he breathed. He looked up as she moved away from him, realizing he didn't want her apart from him. Not now… He watched breathlessly as she scanned the various items on the shore, careful to keep below the waterline as she finally chose a small bottle. She smiled appreciatively as she poured some of the contents onto her hand and turned back to Kenshin.

                "Turn around," she whispered, and Kenshin followed her instructions, first dipping under the water to wet his hair through. Once he had thrown his hair back after shaking it out a little, Tomoe set to her task. She carefully guided her fingers through the tangled strands, massaging his scalp, met with an extraordinary surprise finding his hair soft to the touch. In the back of her mind she wondered if he had inherited it from his mother, but the quiet thought came and went with the breeze. 

Tomoe smiled to herself feeling Kenshin relax, enjoying her ministrations. Her fingertips carefully massaged him, continuing to thread through his hair, the sensations so new and so intimate he had to take a deep breath to calm himself. 

He let out a contented sigh, an undisguised plea for her to continue. In answer she gathered his crimson mane into her hands and lightly rubbed, thickening the foam, making sure the soap reached every strand. The slight tugging tickled Kenshin's scalp, and he kept his eyes closed, simply indulging in the pampering she bestowed upon him. Tomoe then let it fall into the water, suds gathered around them as she continued to cleanse the top of his head. The insistent massage cleaned the mud free from his hair, and Tomoe moved back after a few long moments.

                "Alright, now you can rinse," Tomoe instructed. Kenshin's head bobbed in an acknowledging nod and he disappeared under the water, splashing a bit as he came back up. Tomoe giggled softly as he turned towards her, his face hidden under a waterfall of dark crimson. Timidly reaching to his face, she moved his bangs apart like a curtain and was met with his grinning face.

                "There're too many suds over here now," Kenshin observed, slipping his arm around her naked waist and pulling her to the opposite edge from where he had first been situated. He then released her and dipped his head under once more, shaking out the excess water as he resurfaced, shiny droplets sliding from each strand. Tomoe smiled, the strange feeling low in her stomach intensified by the contact of his encircling arm, and silently she wished… she wished he had never let go.

                Kenshin watched her curiously. He wondered if the yearning he saw in her eyes - the slight movement of her hand, as if she was trying to reach out to him - was more than a figment of his imagination. She had looked away before he could be sure, but a part of him demanded to know the answer. He moved closer to her, stroking the underside of her chin until she looked up at him, and then he knew. Her eyes now completely void of detachment, indifference, he glimpsed another part of her deepest self. He shivered at what he found there, moving without thought as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his strong embrace.

                Tomoe gasped softly, but simply went limp in his arms, overcome with emotion. She could no longer deny all that she felt for him… She wanted to heal his pain, to see his smile, to feel his warmth… Silent tears began to stream down her cheeks and she wrapped her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through his hair, holding onto him as if she was afraid he might disappear at any moment.

                "Tomoe..."

                He whispered her name almost sadly, sensing the slight shake of her body as she fought back tears - tears of relief, tears of acceptance, tears of happiness… And quietly Kenshin murmured to her, wishing nothing more than to comfort her… this delicate woman who had been through so much with him…

                "Shh… Tomoe… I'm here… I will protect you… Please," he begged softly. "Please don't cry…" _It hurts me more than you'll ever know… He was reminded of the first few months they were together, how she had cried every night… At the time he felt helpless, as if it was not his problem to worry about, and so he ignored it. __Why? Why didn't I try to comfort you…__? Yet, the answer came swift and fierce - He couldn't. Not as he was then… but he had changed so much since being with her… His own numb approach to life was no longer an option… No longer… No longer would he choose to ignore her pain. He realized now that it was even impossible… He would not let her suffer alone…_

                "I'm sorry…" her soft voice broke through his thoughts, "Just being with you… the warmth… I thought… I thought it was…"

                _I thought it was impossible to love again… _

                Kenshin leaned down then, silencing her broken words with a kiss. His body shook, painfully aware of her softness pressed so tightly against him, but willing himself to concentrate solely on healing her pain, wishing nothing more than to stop her tears… To watch her doubts disappear with them.

                "Tomoe… You know who I am, and still you have accepted me… You have given me a chance to live… Through you I have learned of the small comforts that make life livable, that make it worth protecting… You helped me realize how misguided my own ideals were… That I should create life instead of destroying it… I owe you my life, my humanity…" he whispered, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, loosening his hold so she could lean away from him. 

                Wiping the tears from her eyes, Tomoe looked at his face. She watched silently as his lips formed unspoken words… 

_I'm so unworthy, but I… __I… _

Gentle hands resting softly against his cheeks, she delicately urged him to raise his face. Hesitantly he met her gaze, uncertainty dominant in his sapphire orbs. She smiled, eyes glistening with unshed tears, and placed her lips upon his own.

                Wide eyes slowly softened as he sank willingly into her kiss. So few words, but her actions… so resolute, so trusting… assured him of all she felt. He broke the kiss to gaze into her lovingly worried eyes… and smiled. A private smile he could give only to her, holding the same meaning as the one she had given to him.  And softly, pulling her closer, he whispered his devotion into her ear…

                "Koishii… I don't want this to be a ruse… Please… Be my wife."

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Translations (if you need them and how I use them):

Gomen nasai = formal 'I'm sorry'

Sumanu = Kenshin's* 'I'm sorry' (form of sumanai = unpardonable; inexcusable; regrettable; sorry)**

Haku baiko = 'white plums' (Tomoe's perfume)

Aa = Kenshin's 'yes' (also works as = oh; I say; like that)

Shikashi = Kenshin's 'however' (also works as = but; still; and yet; nevertheless)

Tabi = the thick socks they wear

Arigatou = semi-informal 'thank you'

Hakama = Kenshin's pants

Gi = Kenshin's shirt

Demo = another form of 'but' (also works as = even; so; as well; still; though; if; yet)

Koishii = intimate pet name 'beloved' (also works as = dear; darling)

*The reason I say 'Kenshin's' is because it is a way of speaking either suited for men or that he himself uses it more than any other way.

**Translation taken from Kenkyusha's New School Japanese-English dictionary.

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Author's Notes: Alright, I have poured my heart and soul into this, along with my sweat and blood. I just had to help people see Tomoe for who she truly is, to help them understand her. I wanted to help everyone understand their relationship as well, and I hope I have succeeded. There is still a lot to come, but with school starting and training for the recent promotion at my job, please expect updates every 1 or 2 weeks, ok? If you read above, as well, you know I don't believe in short chapters, and that really is why it takes me a while, along with the fact that I'm a perfectionist! ^_~;; I really want some feedback, so if you have a moment, I'd appreciate a review. Next chapter will be a lemon, but if you can't or don't want to read it please be patient for chapter 3. Thank you so much, and have a wonderful life!

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	2. The Calm Before the Storm (NC-17)

Rurouni Kenshin OVA (Independent Series)

"Dominating Fate"

By: Goddess Nekko

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_Disclaimer/Warning: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters, I just felt like creating my own OVA series, and so I will. Do not bother to sue me, I have no money anyway - this is just all in good fun!  As I said, this is the chapter where the lemon takes place, so if you would like not to read it (or shouldn't) please, please be patient for chapter 3(uh, for Tomoe's response please read the first few paragraphs lol… I know I know! Be patient with me)!  Thanks, and continue on!_

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Author's Notes: Hi again!  I have totally redrafted this particular chapter, so please give it another read if you have time!  I promise it will be worth it!  If you are a first-timer, then, welcome!  This doesn't get too graphic, but it IS sex, so, you can't say I didn't warn you.  Whenever I write a lemon, as well, I keep it as tasteful as I can.  I hate writer's who take such a beautiful thing and, well, DESTROY it!  I am confident enough to guarantee your satisfaction, so please take your time.  I am a huge fan of slow, careful, love scenes, so no worries!  Yet, later on, I DO want to explore Battousai a bit, but you'll be warned about that.  Anyway, please enjoy and give me any feedback, any thoughts, you may have!  I worked SO hard on this, and I just want everyone to enjoy it as much as I do!!!

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Chapter 2: The Calm Before the Storm

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                Tomoe was helpless to control the tears that fell unbidden down her cheeks, born from the joyous bliss her lover's soft words evoked in her.  These new feelings were so extraordinary, so innocent and exhilarating, she was left defenseless against the euphoric tidal wave of emotion that crashed upon her.  Almost immediately she reached to wrap her arms around him, drawing him impossibly closer as the last of her sorrows were shed with the crystal droplets that stained her already moist skin.

                "Kenshin… Kenshin… Anata…" she voiced in an elated whisper, her heart quickening as she trailed kisses over his shapely face, his curved jaw.  Saying his name for the first time, it was that distinction that promised her true feelings.  After so long she believed she could finally move on from Akira's death, to lock their sweetest memories into her heart always, and begin life anew with this man who had given her a new happiness.  This man who smiled softly upon her, his strong arms protectively holding her delicate body so carefully against his own.  She sighed, holding him tighter, and Kenshin closed his eyes as he breathed deep of her sweet scent, nuzzling her neck to silently reassure her.

                "Koishii…  I won't let go…  I promise you I will never let go…" he vowed, his voice no louder than a whisper.  In response her grip merely tightened, a silent sob escaping her lips.  No ceremony, no extravagance, no fuss…  Kenshin had professed his deepest feelings and she answered him - answered him with her own devotion and need.  Her decisive, committed response chased away the last of his doubts, leaving him content just to hold her as they shared in the new emotions unlocked by the trust, the love, they had found in each other.

                Softly murmuring to her, Kenshin loosed his hold and leaned back, needing to look into her eyes.  Reluctantly Tomoe complied, not wanting to pull herself away from him, though she eagerly met his gaze.  Her features softened as she met the deep, sapphire orbs of her husband, regaining her composure as she brushed a tear from his cheek, lightly smiling.  Slowly Kenshin lifted a dripping hand to his face, shocked by the presence of that single tear.  Yet, in these last few moments as his soul had been laid bare before them, he knew it had been out of his control.  He was filled with such an intense yet silent emotion he almost feared it, but as he looked to Tomoe, her steady gaze eased him.  He could do nothing but stare whence his eyes met hers.  

_I wish you knew how beautiful you are when you smile like that…  _

And instantly his lips were upon hers.

                Contentment and security were the long dismissed tinder that sparked to life as fears and doubts were cast aside, the simple flame engulfing all restraints as it roared to life, leaving the newly betrothed couple to indulge in passions so long ignored - denied.  Tomoe ran her hands over Kenshin's bare back, pressing against each muscle, a quiet sigh escaping his mouth from the feel of her soft hands against his skin.  The planes of his chest were hard and slick, tapering to a solid, slightly concave abdomen, warm against her bare breasts, teasing the sensitive skin as he moved lightly against her.

                Kenshin's heartbeat began to quicken, breaking their kisses intermittently so he could regain control of his breathing, but her flesh… so soft, so vulnerable under his fingertips…  He groaned quietly, forcing himself to find control.  Roughly he trailed his kisses from Tomoe's blushing lips to her soft cheek, along her jaw, breathing in her sweet scent as he nibbled her ear.

                Tomoe gasped softly, her body sparking with a pleasure that shivered up her spine even in the unrelenting heat of the water that lapped around them.  His careful, intimate actions touched her very soul, silently telling her of all he felt.  So light were his caresses, so sensual; and she sighed, trusting him to take care of her.    

Kenshin's blood began pumping in his veins, the pressure building in his groin as her fingernails bit lightly into his skin, knowing she was unable to control the small movement as his lips caressed her neck, his mouth open and hungry as he nipped and suckled the pearled flesh.  Never before had his feelings been so entangled, and he wished for nothing more than to give her all he could, to let her feel every earthly pleasure and whatever else that lay hidden in the heavens…

                Carefully he let his hands fall lower, resting at the small of her back before he gently lifted her above the water, revealing the swell of her breasts as his teeth slid over her jugular.  Caressing her with his kisses, he let his mouth wander over her collarbone, suckling against her soft flesh, his hold tightening as she gave a broken sigh.  His teeth grazed her shoulder as he lifted her higher, shivering undetectably as he gazed helplessly upon her rounded chest, the pinkish rose-colored tips.  

                The cold chilling her exposed body, his careful touches along her skin… her body reacted strongly to his actions, and she bit her bottom lip as he pressed the warmth of his mouth against the tip of her aching peak.  He glanced upward as her hands clenched around his defined shoulders, his eyes glossy, almost carnal with desire as he bid his tongue to play against the sensitive nub taut at the tip of her breast.  He was rewarded by the way she gasped beneath him, her body sensitized and yearning for his touch, and inwardly he grinned at her inability to control the small sounds that escaped through her parted lips.

                Lightly he nibbled the pink tip, Tomoe's gasps followed by the clenching of her hands against his flesh, desperate fingers threading through his crimson mane.  Carefully he rolled the taut nub with his tongue, savoring the way she reacted to his touch, suckling against it gently.  Tomoe moaned softly, instantly biting her lip in an effort to control the sounds, but Kenshin merely grinned, leading his mouth away from the swollen pink nub to suckle against the creamy flesh of her breast.

                Tomoe shivered under the feel of his hot mouth upon her chilled flesh, gasping again as he led his mouth to the breast he had neglected while pleasuring the first.  The way she arched into his touch, seeking deeper contact, Kenshin released a soft groan as he lightly nipped against her.  She gasped softly, and he took the sensitive tip into his mouth, his tongue eagerly stroking against it.  He suckled against it softly, utterly astounded by the fierce passion that heated his blood hearing each and every purr and moan that left his lover's lips.  He looked up at her as he let his tongue flicker against her, his eyes darkening with desire as his gaze fell upon her parted, panting lips, a single raven strand clinging teasingly to the soft flesh.  

It was almost more than he could bear, and bringing his head up, he caught those sweet lips roughly with his own.  She gasped once more, and Kenshin took hold of the opportunity before him, sliding his tongue into the honeyed cavern of her mouth.  

                Tomoe held onto him, eyes shut tight in concentration, her tongue slowly dancing forth to answer as the initial shock of what he had done began to fade.  She was awestricken by the feel of his tongue stroking her own, finding herself eagerly responding to his every motion, the sensations utterly arousing to her heightened senses.

 Tomoe was breathless as Kenshin almost savagely took her mouth, his arm draping up her body as the other secured itself firmly around her waist.  He was indulging almost recklessly in the unfamiliar yet intriguing battle against the velvet stroke of her tongue as he suddenly pulled her completely against his lean frame.  Tomoe's breath caught in her throat, Kenshin unable to stifle a moan, as he pressed his erection between her thighs.  He had been careful to keep his hips drawn back earlier as he consoled her, but now he was helpless against the licentious demands of his body.  The throbbing between his legs was steadily becoming more insistent, an adrenaline pumping his blood that he could not name - that shocked him by its almost animal-like ferocity.

                "Kenshin… Kenshin…!" Tomoe panted on a broken breath as his length agonizingly teased the sensitive flesh between her thighs.  Crushing his lips to hers, Kenshin's tongue quickly sought entrance, plundering her mouth as a foreign yet welcomed pleasure shot through his body being pressed so intimately against her silken folds.  Tomoe fought back the slick member seeking dominance in her mouth, becoming utterly breathless as a forceful, tingling wave of sensation rippled through her, fanning from her abdomen.  Tomoe then moaned aloud, breaking abruptly from the kiss, her back arching reflexively as Kenshin's hips bucked lightly against her.  Burning flesh against flesh, eager, yearning…  A knot was tightening low in her stomach, and Tomoe leaned forward to rest her head in the crook of her lover's shoulder, simply wishing to regain control of her breathing…  

So close… so close he held her, so heatedly he kissed her, passion overtaking self-control…  He wanted to give to her… give to her until she was screaming…  He hungered for her warmth, her sweetness, letting his hot breath fall onto her naked shoulder, uncertainty and naivete detaining him from proceeding further.  Yet just as Kenshin realized his drawback, his complete inexperience, he was jerked from the privilege of conscious thought as sensation seared his every nerve.  

                Kenshin's eyes shot open, staring into the dark glittering topaz of Tomoe's heated gaze.  He held her gaze longingly, unbelieving, before they once again slid shut.  She had so softly, surprisingly, taken hold of his swollen shaft, eliciting a low moan from her lover that whispered through his parted lips.  Her silken hands firmly holding his aching member…  The thought alone was enough to make him dizzy with desire, and he trembled undetectably as she inadvertently created a subtle friction against his every nerve, sending a tingling wave of heat over his body.  Tomoe felt the slight clenching of his hands upon her body as she gingerly guided him towards what he had unconsciously sought, leaving him awestruck by her actions but more than willing to let her assist.  

Tomoe couldn't resist a smile as an almost giddy fascination struck her finding Kenshin so utterly innocent in the ways of a man and woman - obvious in how he faltered with the next step.  His breathing was unsteady as she timidly, cautiously, positioned him at her entrance, the contact of his tip against her sensitized, hidden flesh creating a sensation that sparked like electricity through her body, echoed in the slight trembling of his own.  Her grip around him tightened almost automatically as his hips gave a small jerk forward of their own accord.  Kenshin uttered a low grunt feeling the added pressure, but when she loosed her grip and the second tremor overtook him, he pushed forward, overcome by a sharp surge of satisfaction as he met and quickly pushed through the resistive wall of heat deep inside her.

                "Tomoe!" he choked as she cried out softly beneath him, her body clenching around him.  Pleasure and need coursed through his blood, and he groaned feeling Tomoe's tight, hot sheath enveloping him.  Yet, the sound of her startled, pained cry kept him attentive to her comfort.  

                After a few moments when the initial shock had faded and Kenshin's mind cleared, he looked upon Tomoe, regret filling his senses.  Her breath was coming in short gasps, her hands gripping him bruisingly tight, lightly biting her lower lip as she waited for the pain to subside.  Kenshin watched her quietly, a worried expression on his face._  What have I done…__?_

_                He struggled to gain control of his body, forcing it to stillness as he nuzzled her neck.  Lightly he kissed her cheeks, lifting his face to gaze upon her.  She opened her eyes to meet his as he placed a loving kiss against the tip of her nose, baffled even further as a content smile shaped her blushing lips._

                "Tomoe…  Are you all right?  I felt… I broke through…" _I didn't know it would be so painful for you…  He felt regret that the profound pleasure the swift movement had sent crashing over him had ultimately brought her pain.  Yet, any sign of upset was absent from her face as she soothingly stroked over the soaked strands of his hair, a tiny, breathy giggle reaching his ears._

                "Anata… I was a virgin… and now I am yours," she whispered softly.  Reality struck Kenshin suddenly, remembering in broken thoughts a conversation he had heard so long ago while sitting with some drunken Ishin after a long meeting.  _Virgin…__  Your virgin barrier…__ So I…__ I was your first then, my love…  He kissed away the single tear that had escaped down her cheek, grinning softly with relief as he placed another upon the tip of her nose, brushing his lips lightly across her brow._

                "Why didn't you tell me, koishii?  I didn't want - never want - to hurt you," he whispered, tracing more kisses along her flushed face.  She answered him with the delicate smile that eased even the torrential depths of his soul.

                "No matter the preparation, the first time… would be this way," she replied simply, softly, taking a deep breath.  Kenshin watched her curiously, about to disagree, but she pressed a slim finger lightly against his lips foreseeing his reaction.  Holding his gaze with her own, she exhaled, her hands threading through his hair as she pulled him to her for a kiss.

                Yet, she teased him, gently stroking his bottom lip with the tip of her tongue, Kenshin silencing a groan as his hips once again responded with a slight jerk - and Tomoe felt him fully.  He had pushed into her up to the hilt, biting down upon his desire as he waited for her, so careful with her in his arms…  And Tomoe's eyes brimmed with tears, fully understanding the intensity of what love could be, Kenshin swallowing what he most desired to be sure she was ready for him - ready for their first coupling.  The purity of the emotion streamed through her, bringing her to forget the pain that was swiftly becoming no more than a passing thought… and she moaned at how perfectly, completely, he filled her.

                Unwilling to move until he was convinced of his love's comfort, Kenshin delicately caressed her lips with his own, his rough hands leisurely stroking over her flesh promising there was no rush.  Yet, she returned the kiss, holding his attention as her legs found their way around his waist, pulling him closer against her, gasping as she felt him deeper still.

                Kenshin released a deep, calming breath as he groaned softly, new confidence replacing his hesitation, encouraged by her response.  Letting his instincts guide him, he slowly pulled away from the tight heat of her body, delicately stroking back inside with the same careful attention.  The friction left no nerve untouched, and again he moved - his mind conscious of nothing but her tight heat, her slender body against his, the way she gasped as he moved.

                Tomoe's hands fell upon his shoulders, gripping him tightly, Kenshin supporting her weight with his trained arms, holding her as he partially leaned them against the wall of the spring.  She stroked over the defined muscles of his biceps as he pushed himself into her again, his pace slow as he eased into a rhythm.  He continued cautiously, aware that each time he pushed forward, Tomoe's thighs tightened against his waist as if trying to stop him, and if only simply for her, he would control himself.  He struggled against his ardor, willing himself to silence the voice that demanded movement - that demanded he pummel into her with reckless abandon and watch her as she screamed...  

                Tomoe, moderately able to concentrate on her beloved, watched his face curiously as all his inner struggles reflected on the telltale features of his face.  He was holding back, she knew - and all for her.  The knowledge made her heady, wanting to give him everything she had to offer, willingly surrendering her body to his desires.  Yet, he was still fighting against the demands of his body, and she moaned as he pushed into her ever so gently, reacquainted with the pure bliss of his fullness each time he moved.  

She smiled softly, meeting his next gentle thrust with the push of her hips, her eyes sparkling as his opened, startled, to meet her gaze - to be sure her eyes reflected the willingness and want her actions spoke of.  She saw the question there - not demanding, simply asking - and she arched deeply against him, gasping on a broken breath as he pushed into her again.  It was all he could stand before the last of his restraints snapped, finally succumbing to the fierce urgency that set his soul ablaze.

                Several forceful thrusts and his groin continued to throb, a shallow cry echoing in his body that was begging for release as the tension built with every powerful movement of his hips.  Gentleness rode thin as Tomoe cried out beneath him, forcing her hips to meet his every thrust, each forceful jerk driving him deeper still, their bodies grinding together in a rhythm steadily growing more heated, more desperate.  Kenshin was panting now, the sensuous body of his wife arching into his touch rousing his senses to an almost painful awareness of everything he felt.

                Hurriedly he withdrew himself, forcefully pushing back inside, the water splashing haphazardly around them as he pumped his hips against her with a fervor.  His body was burning from exertion, thrumming with need, his sweat washed away by the clean spring water… and his body was screaming now, each thrust bringing him that much closer to reaching his peak.  Something he hailed and cursed, enveloped in the pure bliss of sealing the love he and his wife had voiced seemingly moments ago, knowing the kaleidoscope of emotion and sensation would ultimately reach its finality and bring them back down to earth. 

Tomoe was crying out beneath him, the careless, desperate slide of her fingernails against his skin going unnoticed as her legs tightened desperately around him.  Her mind was entangled in sensation, aware of only her love's body moving against hers, his name falling in ardent whimpers from her lips.  She moaned, her silken voice dripping with ecstasy as the intense pleasure overwhelmed her every nerve, every broken thought.  Her body was screaming for the finality, the release hovering just out of reach - her soft but persistent pleading ultimately compelling Kenshin to obey with relentless bucking thrusts. 

                Repeatedly Kenshin rotated his hips against her, forcing himself deeper still, as his entire body began to tense on the verge of completion.  He ground his hips against hers, trying to ride out the sensations wracking his body.  The pressure continued to build, Kenshin feeling as though he would explode, when in one overwhelming wave of penultimate pleasure, his body held rigid and he was left defenseless against the crashing waves of his release.  He forced himself deep inside Tomoe once more as her name fell in a hoarse cry from his lips, releasing his seed inside her, clutching her almost painfully tight against him.  It was at that moment he was aware of the slight trembling of Tomoe's body just before she too fell victim to the sparkling oblivion of their culmination, gasping his name on a broken scream.  Sheer pleasure tingled against his every nerve feeling the final, telltale tremors of her climax, Tomoe wrapping her delicate arms around him so tightly he could scarcely breathe until mere moments later when she fell limp, panting, in his arms.

                _Never…__  I've never felt anything like this...__!_

Once the intensity of the sensations began to ebb, he fell weakly against her, his breathing heavy and warm against her neck, pressing her against the edge of the spring.  He was shocked he could no longer support her, nonetheless himself, but he was content to know he wasn't crushing her under his weight.  She lay under him, gasping softly, her love still buried deep within her.

                His powerful adrenaline drained, Kenshin carefully slid out and forced himself to roll to his side, leaning against the earthen wall of the spring, relieved to find a satisfactory seat to recline against. Mustering the last of his strength, he gathered Tomoe's limp form into his arms, depositing her onto his lap.  She lay there comfortably, her contented breaths falling against his chest, a match for his own unsteady breathing.

Kenshin closed his eyes, letting his head fall back as he tried to take it all in, but was aware of only his love, his soul mate, as they lay there in the after glow.  He placed a kiss upon her forehead, followed by a deep breath, keeping his arms wrapped lightly around her.  Distantly Tomoe registered an almost empty feeling when he had pulled out from her, but she was content to be cuddled against his chest, the extra attention as he carefully fit her against him so comforting, considerate, it brought a small smile to her lips.  Though, she mused, it was true enough…  _You fit perfectly, my love…  _

                They lay silently in the spring, tiny ripples lapping at their skin.  The sun overhead had moved a good deal further toward the horizon, but they had a few hours before the darkness of evening would set in.  Kenshin took another deep, calming breath and rested his head against Tomoe's, eyes closed in a blissful, comfortable exhaustion.

                _I am yours…_

                She had spoken the words in such earnest, and he knew he could never tell her in words all he felt for her.  It shocked him how comforted and relaxed he felt just to hold her.  Her very presence brought peace to his soul…  And he hated to have to disturb her, to disturb this perfect moment.  She was so contented, so adorable, and carefully he stroked her cheek wishing they could stay that way forever…

                _For a little longer…__  Let us stay like this just a little longer…_

                Long moments passed as they shared in the quiet, the closeness.  Slowly Tomoe opened her eyes, relieved to find Kenshin's content, exhausted face smiling softly upon her.  She nuzzled her cheek against him lightly before nestling her head onto his shoulder with a contented sigh.

                "Mm… Anata… I don't want to move," she breathed against him.  Gently he hushed her, placing a kiss upon the top of her head, lips caressed by her silken hair.

                "Shh… I know, koishii… I don't want to either," he whispered.  He felt Tomoe smile against his skin, the movement tickling his flesh, delighted by the feel of it.

                "But… my fingers," she argued weakly, looking disapprovingly at the pruning pads of her skin.  Kenshin merely chuckled, a soft laugh that reverberated against his chest, and Tomoe glanced up at him.

                "I thought you said you didn't want to move…" he replied, his voice gentle with humor as he stroked his hand affectionately over her back.  She answered him with a soft exhale, closing her eyes as she tiredly rested against him.  His own eyelids were pulling shut, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep with her in his arms, but he also wanted to get her home - warm and dry in a futon… a futon they would share as husband and wife.  

Kenshin's arms tightened around her as the thought caressed him, breathing deep of her scent, finding it had always been a soothing balm to the troubled thoughts that snuck into his mind.  Yet, those lingering thoughts were silenced as Tomoe let out a soft sound, remarkably similar to a purr, just before she moved to rise.

                "I suppose we should return home," she observed as she tried to pull herself up, finding it a most difficult task as dizziness, born from exhaustion, struck her and she fell lightly back into his arms.  Kenshin watched her with careful eyes, knowing full well that he would have to force himself to get up if they were to make it home that day.

                "Aa."

                Grinning, he set to his task, Tomoe looking up at him with a confused glance as one hand slipped underneath her legs, the other supporting her back as he lifted her from the water.  Her hand reached up to him, her arms wrapping around his neck, Kenshin fighting a shiver as a cool wind blew against his naked, dripping body.  He felt Tomoe press against him, seeking warmth, but she voiced no complaint as he brought them to the tree patiently holding their clothes and clean robes.  He placed a kiss against her forehead as he reluctantly began to set her down.

                "Sumanu, but I want to get you home," he explained, retrieving one robe from the branch and helping her slip into it, willing himself not to gape at her beautiful, slender, naked body.  She nodded, letting her gaze wander over him, memorizing each chiseled curve, the flex of his muscles as he moved… just before he covered himself with his own yukata.  Tomoe did all she could just to keep herself standing, still weak in the grips of exhaustion.

                Kenshin pressed a hand to their clothes, finding the fabric only slightly damp, walking back to the edge of the spring to collect the soaps he had brought.  As he returned he smiled at Tomoe, his gaze falling upon her curiously, noting the way she so carefully held her yukata in place, cheeks slightly pink.  _She must be feeling modest…  He grinned at the thought, beginning to bundle their clothes together.  Unbeknownst to him, she had indeed noticed the way he had unconsciously let his gaze linger upon her naked form.  _

                "Let me," Tomoe insisted as she reached for her own garments, shaking off the modesty, but Kenshin merely brushed her hand away.  Lifting the pile into his arms, he slipped his feet into his sandals, waiting for Tomoe as she did the same, hooking her arm through his after she had gathered her small collection of bottles and soaps.  He inclined his head towards hers and she met his lips, the two sharing a gentle, lingering kiss before they began the walk back toward their small home.  

                The forest was quiet, the couple sharing in the silence that was nature.  Tomoe looked up toward the sky, letting Kenshin guide her as her mind wandered, the rain clouds holding a silvery glow as the sun slowly neared its departure from the sky.  _So beautiful…  Tomoe gave Kenshin's arm a gentle squeeze, and he glanced toward her, his eyes softening as he found her looking so content…_

                "I'll have to wash these," Tomoe observed, her gaze falling onto the bundle in his arms, inspecting the fabric of her kimono.  Kenshin looked from her to the stained light blue of the cloth, nodding in agreement.

                "However… I was the one to start that… so please don't give it a second thought," he replied, his voice slightly rough after the prolonged use.  Tomoe's gentle gaze traveled to his face, his small smile warming her heart.  She nodded lightly in acknowledgment of his offer, though she would not let him perform the task come tomorrow.  Yet, she couldn't shake the surprise she felt from his response.  He was more than willing to take care of the chore, though as a man he had no need to worry of such things having a wife.  She wondered what it would be like living this new life, how things would change between them.  She had found a new happiness, a new love that freed her from the madness of her hate-filled vengeance, and she swore she would not let herself feel regret.

                _Akira-san…__  I know you hate this man, but in dreams you are so tolerant…__  Even though I have let myself move on, to create a new life with him, your face is always so gentle… __ I had not been prepared to find out he is simply a man, but it is true I have seen it…__  You too had seen something in him, hadn't you…?  She leaned her head onto her husband's shoulder, a sigh escaping her remembering the pomegranate blossom Akira had held, Kenshin's even stride keeping her settled comfortably against him as she mused over the visions of her recurring dream.  __Why should I be thinking of it now…?__  _

Kenshin was attentive to her every movement, every passing breath…  He felt the slight clenching of her hand against his arm, the action similar to what she had done just hours before during their walk to the spring, and he couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking… Couldn't ignore the fact the small action may have been caused by an inner pain she would not speak of, the realization making him uneasy._    __What thoughts are calling your attentions from me, beloved? _

                "Tomoe?" he voiced, worry sneaking into his relaxed tone.  She lifted her head to offer him a reassuring smile, and relief quickly washed over him.  Her smile, her eyes…  The truth of her peaceful state was evident in the sparkling, fathomless depths of her almond gaze.

                "Mm…  What is it, love?" she asked softly.  He merely answered her with a small grin, his gaze drawn once again to the trail before him as he shook his head.

                "Nothing," he replied, his voice light.  Tomoe watched him curiously, but whatever his reasons, she could not trace any hints of upset or worry.  Kenshin noticed, could feel, her eyes upon him and leaned his head in to nuzzle her hair, placing a kiss against the bound strands.

                "Well, actually, I'm upset that I never thought to take your hair down," he admitted.  He laughed inwardly realizing it truly had been a thought forgotten during their lovemaking.  Yet, bringing her attention to the subject, Tomoe couldn't help but stroke the loose, dripping strands of his crimson mane.  Lightly she played with his hair as they walked, finding the deep red slightly hypnotic, stirring memories of harsher dreams.

                Softly exhaling, Tomoe leaned her head against his shoulder, heat radiating comfortingly from his cloth-covered skin.  _I will not think of it…__  He has found happiness, and I won't deny him this new life…__  If I can, Kenshin, I will keep you safe…__  I will lead you away from the fate I have woven with my own hands…  __I will be your sheath and help you to tame the darker side of your soul…_

                "It's so peaceful, isn't it?  The sun setting, the clouds silent…" Tomoe observed, speaking with an appreciative detachment.  Kenshin nodded, a small grin on his face.

                "Aa.  I have never known such peace until… until you came into my life…  Not for many years have I simply been able to indulge in the simplicity of life, to realize what my own had become…" There was a long pause before he continued.  "Not until now did I really know how lonely I was, and even though we hardly spoke a word to each other in the beginning, I became fonder of your presence each day…  I never thought…" 

_I never thought I could escape the madness of what my life had become…  __I never thought the stench of blood would leave me, but now…__ all I know is your sweet scent…_

                Tomoe gazed upon him softly.  _Anata, I share what you feel…__ The loneliness, the anger, was overwhelming…__  During my time with you I have come to realize you have brought warmth to my pained soul, forced me to reevaluate my motives… __I never thought I could accept you, I had never wanted to…__ But now you have become so dear to my heart…__ I was unprepared to learn the truth of what you are, how human…__ I will live on for Akira-san, I will save your soul…__ That is the only thing left I can do that will make any impact on the future…  __Though, my love, you make me wonder such a sad thing…_

_                Had you ever known love in your life until now…__?_

Though Kenshin had left his sentence unfinished, Tomoe decided it was best to let it be, resting her head once again on Kenshin's shoulder as he guided them up the last of the path to their home.  Tomoe slid open the door, and as they entered, Kenshin dropped the clothing to the side of the doorway while stepping out of his sandals, quickly moving to build a fire to rid the chill from their home.

                Tomoe watched him through her lashes, hurrying to ready their futon, wanting nothing more than to curl up in the warm comfort of the heavy blankets.  Quickly enough Kenshin had sparked the fire to a low flicker, adding on a bit of dried leaves and a few logs, watching the infant flame for a few moments until he was sure it would build.  With this done he turned to Tomoe, finding her adding the finishing touches to their bed, grinning to himself as he crept up silently behind her.  

                Tomoe gave a startled cry as strong arms enfolded her into a tight embrace, smiling as Kenshin placed a feather-light kiss against the nape of her neck, sending light shivers through her slightly chilled body.

                "Anata," she whispered, wishing to scold him but finding her energy lacking.  He nuzzled her neck, placing another kiss along the silken flesh before urging her under the blankets.  Readily she followed, only comfortable when Kenshin's arms found their way around her body, pulling her against him.  She closed her eyes and sighed, Kenshin meeting her gaze as she looked up at him moments after.  He noticed sadly that even though her eyes held happiness, there was a slight glimmer of sadness hidden within their depths.

                "Tomoe… what is it?  Do you regret-"

                Instantly Tomoe silenced him with her lips.  He closed his eyes only momentarily, and after she broke the kiss to meet his gaze, she found worry dominant in the glittering oceans before her.  She wanted to reassure him, but she wanted even more to tell him the truth…  Yet, this sharing was still so new, and she knew deep in her heart she must wait, if she could muster the courage to tell him at all.

                "Anata, I will never regret what happened today.  You… you have given me a happiness I never thought could exist…  and I… I feel so unworthy of it…" she confided softly.  In answer, Kenshin merely held her tighter.

                "If only you knew, Tomoe…  I know I don't deserve you…  I have lived in darkness, only brought death to the world, and I have stolen happiness from countless peoples' lives…  But you are here with me, you have given me the second chance I never dared hope to find, and I have made up my mind to atone for my sins…  I want to be worthy of life, of your love, even if I have to spend the rest of my life trying to earn it.  I'm sorry you had to become involved with me, but without you I don't even want to imagine what my life may have become, " Kenshin whispered softly.  Tomoe could see him wince from the truth in his words, could feel the slight trembling of his body, and she instantly reprimanded herself for speaking so thoughtlessly.  He had closed his eyes tightly in an effort to shut out the pain, however Tomoe struggled against his binding grasp and pressed her lips firmly to his, hoping to draw him away from the pain of his thoughts.  At first he didn't respond, but after her gentle prodding he answered, caressing her lips with his once more before breaking from the kiss as he felt a teardrop fall onto his cheek.  Worriedly he looked to Tomoe, his eyes soft.

                "Anata, you are so strong.  You have lived with such pain in your heart, known nothing but this dark side of life…  Because of you I myself have learned how to enjoy life again.  I know I have not shown it often, but I am content to be here with you.  I had known only sadness for the last year, forgotten what happiness was… and I thought I could never return to those days.  You have given me hope, and I know deep in my heart you have to continue this war we have been hiding from.  I want to be your sheath, to help you beyond this and into the new era you have been fighting for.  Kenshin, please, I want…  I want to be by your side… so you won't have to face it alone…  I want a life with you…"

                Kenshin's eyes were wide.  Tomoe was pouring the words of her heart into her hands, willingly offering them to him.  She was crying…  She was crying because she felt so strongly for him.  She believed in him, understood what must be done.  

                _My… __sheath…?  __I think I understand now…_

                "Tomoe…"

                He gathered her into his arms, holding onto her as though she was life itself.  He knew now there was no turning back.  He had to finish what he had begun, make sure the lives he had taken would not be in vain.  His wife, his love, his soul mate stood beside him and he knew he could overcome the darkness.

                "Tomoe, koishii, ai sh'teru…  Ai sh'teru…!"

                Softly Tomoe hushed him, lightly stroking his hair, sighing as she felt a heavy weight being lifted from her soul as she finally set free the words of her heart.  She took a deep breath, her first breath of this new life.

                "I am with you always…  When we are separated, never forget that…  And remember…  I am yours.  Ai sh'teru, anata," Tomoe whispered.  Kenshin's grip tightened almost painfully around her before his arms loosed seconds later, leaning to kiss away her tears.

                "You will see the dawning of a new era, koishii, and I will return to you," he vowed softly.  She smiled, eased by the promise he whispered into her ear, and they shared another kiss before Kenshin settled comfortably beside her.  

                "Sleep, my love," Tomoe whispered, continuing to stroke his hair, indulging in the warmth that danced between them.  She took a deep breath, Kenshin's musk drifting into her senses, relaxing in his embrace.  A deep exhale passed from his lips as he gave his wife an affectionate squeeze, nuzzling his cheek against her hair before he too relaxed, snuggling close to her.  Yet, not until Kenshin's breathing became steady did Tomoe finally let sleep claim her, resting contentedly against him.

                Kenshin smiled feeling her soft, small body fall into the gentle hands of slumber.  He opened his eyes and gazed upon her, moving a strand of hair from her face before placing a kiss to her lips, silently reaffirming his vow.  He would live his life because she had taught him how…  And as his mind became hazy and the fire crackled and snapped in its familiar, relaxing fashion, he too drifted to sleep knowing his love was safe in his arms. 

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 Translations:

Koishii: 'beloved'

Anata: 'beloved' (to parallel koishii)

Ai sh'teru: 'I love you.'

Sumanu: 'I'm sorry.'

Aa: 'yes'

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Author's Notes: Okay, I totally redrafted this chapter… Well, okay, I only really added to it and changed some stuff but, hey…  Anyway, I am SO happy with it now, and I really hope you are as well!  Now I can stop worrying about these and hurry up with chapter three, but I got so busy with school then got the flu and was REALLY sick and bedridden for like a week that, well… I haven't written anything in a while.  I am about halfway done with it, but when this was posted, I believe so will chapter 3 have been.  In any case, thank you for reading and reviews are always welcome!  It's easier to continue when I know my efforts are being enjoyed by others!!!  Thank you all!!!

Tomoe & Kenshin Forever 

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	3. The Sacrifice of Living in a Lie (PG)

Rurouni Kenshin OVA (Independent Series)

"Dominating Fate"

By: Goddess Nekko

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_Disclaimer/Warning: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters, I just felt like creating my own OVA series, and so I will. Do not bother to sue me, I have no money anyway - and I will ****__NEVER give up my Tomoe and Kenshin doujinshis!!!!!!  So… yeah.  This chapter is pretty much PG, if that, though it does contain a swear word or two.  However, in the future you can expect another lemon and probably an R-rating for violence.  You can blame the war for that!_

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Author's Notes: Hello!  Sorry this has taken me so long, but I was getting behind in school and working and yeah you probably think I'm making it all up and I'm lazy, but I wasn't being lazy about the fic!  Just everything else and that's why I have this little setback *hem*…  Anyway, I fixed up the first two chapters, and I can't stress enough that if you read chapter 2, you should give it a second read!  I am MUCH happier with it now!  As should Clay be since I fixed the, well, not-so-good references of certain things.  I must add, as well, this chapter will really be digging deep beyond the surface of Kenshin and Tomoe, and the struggles they face within themselves outside the relationship.  A lot of this is my own idea, since the OVA's don't even hint about the real pain and confusion they both were going through, and I hope you go into this with an open mind and heart.  Anyway, please review at the end, and I ask this because when there are no reviews, how can I know that my efforts are worthwhile, that people are reading it or like it?  Even if you don't like it…  Please just supply SOME kind of feedback… Well, I'll shut up while you enjoy, please read on!!  (I'm SO HAPPY NOT TO BE SICK ANYMORE!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! *was convinced she was dying LOL*)  My apologies as well to Raphie and Midori who have really been supporting me and been so patient with me!  Thanks guys!

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Chapter 3: The Sacrifice of Living in a Lie

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                Tomoe sighed softly, consciousness slowly creeping into her senses.  Her body felt heavy, trying to decide whether to return to slumber or prepare for the day, when she was startled into wakefulness feeling a hand move lightly against her hip.  Eyes wide open, she stared into the blur of early morning.  As she blinked away the haze, her eyes rested upon the gentle face of her lover, realizing it was his hand upon her, twitching in sleep.  She smiled lightly, his face glowing in the early light cast just before sunrise, drawing her attention to the strand of hair lying across cheek.  With gentle fingers she carefully moved it away from his skin, loving the tranquil look upon his face.

_I would believe what happened was a dream… __if I was not feeling your warmth now, feeling your arms around me… __so close to you…_

Another soft sigh and she let her eyes roam the room, spying the pile of clothes lying in a bundle by the door.  She then looked upon Kenshin, wondering if he would wake if she tried to move.  With a feather-light touch she trailed a finger over his cheek, across his lips, watching him curiously.  His breathing remained soft, steady, almost silent even in the still, hushed morning. 

                Experimenting, she wiggled, trying to get free of his loose embrace.  She didn't want to leave his arms, but her curiosity wouldn't allow her to keep still.  As she moved, his hold merely tightened, yet it slacked moments later as the initial reflex faded.  Pulling away from him slowly, she took his hand and set it in the vacant space where she had once been laying, nestling the blanket over his upper body.

                For a few long moments she simply watched him, ignoring the mild chill in the air.  She watched the slight rise and fall of his chest, the way his fingers would twitch, as if trying to reach for something…  He looked absolutely peaceful.  She smiled, relieved she had not disturbed him.  

She watched him for moments more before she silently began to rise, soothed by the content picture he made, until suddenly she found herself falling backward on her heels as Kenshin shot up from the futon, piercing golden eyes staring into her own.  Gasping for breath, Kenshin haphazardly threw the blanket away from him, those devilish eyes never once hinting to look away, to free her of his threatening glare.

                Tomoe clutched her yukata tightly, the fabric just over her heart, silent as her eyes remained locked with his.  Yet, Kenshin blinked as he held her gaze, the dangerous golden glint swallowed and obscured by oceans of glittering sapphire.  He watched her for mere moments before he lowered his face, hiding himself beneath a deep red curtain of bangs.  She noticed his shoulders shake slightly, his body tensing, gripping the blanket beneath his fingers in such a tight fist his knuckles became white. 

                "Anata…?"

                Kenshin made no reply, his body heaving steadily with each deep breath he took, silently gasping for air.  Tomoe's eyes softened into a sad expression, feeling responsible for whatever had pulled him so brusquely from the tranquility of sleep.  She moved to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she gently pulled him to her.  He didn't resist her urgings in the slightest, lying his head almost limply against her shoulder as he leaned into her, his hot breath falling against her neck.  She tightened her hold around him, reaching to take one of his hands in her own, relieved as he quickly responded with a firm grip.  He was whispering something of which she couldn't understand, feeling his body begin to tense once more.

                "Shh, my love…  I'm here…  I'm with you…" she murmured, stroking his back comfortingly.  She was becoming fearfully worried by his every action, by the silence and confusion.  She continued to console him, wordlessly murmuring to him until she felt him begin to relax against her.  Relief calmed her senses as she felt him inhale deeply, releasing his worries on a soft breath through his parted lips.

                "Aa… You are still here…" he whispered, relief dominant over the tone of dread in his voice.  Yet, Tomoe did not miss the almost helpless sound of his voice, the fear, still a bit shaken but yearning to comfort him.  She wondered what could have caused him to act in such a way, and though she had initially decided not to intrude, her heart could not rest until she knew what had affected him so.

                "Anata… what's wrong?  Was it a dream?" she inquired quietly, gently, stroking the loose strands of his hair as she gazed upon his crimson head.  The simple action eased him, sensation promising he was awake and away from the dreams that so cruelly played upon his insecurities.  Yet, he said nothing for long moments, about to apologize for his delayed response when he was silenced by a soft melody.  

                Tomoe continued to stroke his hair, humming the soft tune of a lullaby he might have heard as a child, if he could remember such things…  He was thankful she hadn't pushed him into an explanation, to admit his deepest fears…  His soul ached at such devoted, loving attention.  He wanted to answer her, but found himself unwilling to disturb the beautiful sounds flowing from her lips, dimly hearing words within the soft tune.  He realized then she was…  she was singing for him…  

_Such a beautiful, gentle voice…  __Koishii…_

                "The clouds are gray, your heart is frightened…  My love I am but a whisper away from your heart…  So close, and I am always there to guide you…  You are my love, my life, don't be scared…  The storm will cease, the clouds will pass…  My love I am but a whisper away from your heart…"

                His fingers entwined through hers, Kenshin raised their locked hands to his lips, kissing the delicate white fingers of his wife.  Finishing the verse, Tomoe gazed upon him softly, wondering.  Yet, when he looked upon her, she let out a relieved breath finding a small smile adorning his face.

                "That's beautiful…  Did your… mother sing that to you when you were a child?" Kenshin asked in a quiet voice.  He was worried that the subject would be painful or saddening for Tomoe, but she answered him with a slight smile and affirmative nod of her head.

                "Yes, before she died," Tomoe confided softly.  Kenshin's eyes widened slightly, lifting himself up and watching her curiously.

                "Sumanu, I did not know…" he apologized.  Again he was simply met with Tomoe's tender smile.  She gazed down at the hand still holding hers, stroking over his fingers as she sought to continue.

                "There is no way you could have known, it's all right…  It was about nine years ago.  She used to sing it to me when I was young, and after she died giving birth to my little brother, I often used it to get him to sleep," she replied, absently playing with his ring finger.  He noticed that her eyes seemed to look past them, to see the life she used to have.  

                "You had a little brother?" he questioned softly, trying to read her expression.  He could still remember what she had said the first night they met…

                _If I had a family to go back to, do you think I would be out drinking by myself so late…?_

                Perhaps… she had lost him too…

                "Yes.  I believe that there is much we do not know about each other…" Tomoe observed, her face betraying no signs of pain, of sadness… of anything.  Kenshin wanted to ask her more about her past, but judging from her detached response, he felt it best to let her decide when she wanted to tell him.  He then took a deep breath, his gaze wandering from her face to their hands.  She had confided in him, and in turn he felt he should - no, could - do the same.

                "Tomoe… this morning… I awoke, but I… didn't feel you near me.  It struck me then that something might or could happen to you, whether it be my fault or someone else's, and I realized I have a great fear of… I… I'm afraid of losing you," Kenshin admitted, gripping her hand firmly as he stared at the floor.

                Tomoe's eyes widened slightly, shocked by his words.  He had awoken trembling, out of breath, all because he had almost lost her to some inner battle.  She realized then, remembering his eyes, he had been angry.  Not saddened or hopeless…  He had been enraged.  

                _Battousai…  __I think I finally understand the control that darkness has over you…  __So this is how you can kill without hesitation, without mercy…  __Can I really be a sheath to control you, as Katsura-san had said…?  __How can I when it is so strong inside you…?  __My soul tainted by revenge, my corrupt ideas…  __You wish to protect these, because you wish to protect me…  __I've come to realize that you don't value yourself, you don't value your own life, but now you want to live for me…  __You wish to atone, because you want to be worthy of life…  __I have been so wrong, and still I can't tell you the truth…  __I could not forgive myself if I was the cause of any more death…!  __But, __when I am so weak in my own heart, how can I protect you…?_

                "Tomoe…!  Tomoe!"

                Broken from her thoughts, Tomoe's eyes fell upon Kenshin.  There was worry shaping his every feature, and he carefully reached to touch her cheek, lightly caressing the soft skin.  Yet, a silent gasp escaped Tomoe's lips as she realized the reason for his action feeling the clear, shining tears, so warm as they streamed down her cheeks.  She met Kenshin's gaze, and inwardly he flinched.

                "What's wrong?  Why are you crying?" he asked, his voice unsteady, betraying his feelings of upset and anxiety.  

_Why do you look at me with such pity, such sadness… __such pain?_

                Unable to find words, Tomoe threw herself into his arms, and Kenshin held her as she broke down into sobs, her tears soaking into the fabric of his yukata.

                _How can I…?!  __How can I control you?!  __How can I help you, when I myself am so weak…?!  __I've never wished to be so much for one person, but I want to give you everything!  __I'm so sorry…!  __I am so sorry for deceiving you…!  __Your death cannot avenge Akira-san, but the death of Battousai…  __Oh Gods, please…  __Please give me the strength to help this man fight the demon buried deep within his soul…  __I love you, Himura Kenshin, and I will not let things end the way I had planned…!_

"Anata…!" Tomoe breathed, fighting against the sobs, letting the hot tears slide over her flushed face.  If she could give him a life worth living, surely the light of his soul could dominate the darkness…

Kenshin's arms remained wrapped tightly around her, unwilling to let go.  He closed his eyes, nuzzling his face into her hair as he waited for the pained tremors to subside.  He had admitted he feared losing her, and in turn she had been silent.  She had been silent until he called for her, trying to bring her back from the thoughts that were making her pale… and then the tears had come…

                "Tomoe?  What's wrong?" he asked, his voice wavering, his tone low.  In answer she carefully turned her head, placing a kiss to his cheek.  She then buried her face against his shoulder before he could attempt to meet her gaze, leaving him without answers.  He was upset she wouldn't confide in him, exhaling as he gently pulled her back down to the bed, holding her protectively against his chest.  He decided, at the very least, he could hold her until the pain passed.  He could not, however, leave the situation as it was.

                "Koishii… what thoughts pain you so much?" he asked quietly, unwilling to let the matter go.  In answer she cuddled against him, taking a deep breath as Kenshin began consolingly stroking his hand over her hair, raven silk that had escaped its confines sometime during the night.  She embraced him tightly before letting go, forcing her eyes shut to act as a barrier against the sobs lingering inside her heart.

                "I… I have the same fear…" Tomoe whispered long moments later.  Kenshin's gaze remained soft, hearing the pain and desperation of her voice hidden within the undertone.  There had to be something more, something she wasn't telling him, but as of the moment he was left to wonder.  Yet, he was not satisfied with merely holding her…  He hated not knowing, he hated that she was in pain…  He hated how helpless he felt…  

_I can't let you stay silent…                _

"I don't know what hurts you…  I don't know if I have caused it or something else…  Yet, no matter what the problem, please let me help you.  As your husband, tell me what it is that causes you so much pain," he pleaded softly, the title strange as it left his lips, but comforting nonetheless.  Almost instantly Tomoe pulled away from him, sitting up, her hands fisted in the blanket beneath them as her head hung weakly.  Kenshin lifted himself, propping himself on his elbow, his breath constricting in his chest from her reaction to his words.  He kept his face emotionless, confused by her actions, uncertain as to what they might mean.  And, he realized, he was once again unable to read her…

                She sat silently, face hidden by a veil of black silk.  Kenshin was becoming utterly distressed until moments later when his eyes widened slightly, met by the glittering almond of her own, shocked by the strange, painful smile just barely shaping her lips.  His body remained stiff as she brought her hand to his face, lightly caressing his cheek. 

                "My heart… my heart is what causes me so much pain…  This heart that worries for your future, that worries for your life…  How can we…" she paused, her hand falling to grip his shoulder. "How can I be part of your life, when you don't think your life is worth protecting?"

                Kenshin's lips parted in a silent gasp, staring into the eyes of his lover, his savior.  Yet, his heart gave a painful jerk from the truth in her words, and he found nothing but sorrow in her eyes as he searched for support, something to grab on to.  Unable to face this, unable to face her, he jerked his head aside.  Such a strange feeling washed over him, a silent agonizing torture much worse than any physical wound.

                A long silence followed her words, making Tomoe uneasy.  She could not speak, she could not move, she did not know what he was thinking.  She did not know why she had spoken of her silent thoughts.  She feared he was angry with her now…  Yet, she realized suddenly, when she had even first seen him the foundation of her plan had been shaken.  That first night, the way he stared at her after he looked up from the kill.  Those eyes were so dark, so clouded, so cold…  But more than that, there was regret that flashed dimly in those hungry, relentless midnight pools whence he had taken the life.  Those same eyes had been shocked and indecisive when he had met her gaze, told he made it rain blood, as she stumbled towards him.  _You saw it too, didn't you, Akira-san…?  __The compassion hidden by a killer's face… _

                Tomoe then found herself reaching out to him, her expression soft and loving, needing to see those eyes…  Needing to see the man who had stolen her heart…

Kenshin flinched slightly feeling the warmth of her hand upon his cheek, but when he turned his head to face her, he found his strength.  The undying love, the understanding shimmering through the darkness of her eyes - she was reaching out to him.  Pulling himself up, he wrapped his arms around her, fitting her small body against him.  He rested his chin against her shoulder as her delicate arms reached to hold him, slim fingers threading through his hair as they embraced each other.

                "I'm sorry…  I have been speaking thoughtlessly…  Please forgive me…" Tomoe whispered, her voice soft as her hot breath tickled his ear.  He had been so worried, so upset, and he scolded himself for doubting her.  His hold tightened, savoring the warmth of her body against his own.

                "No, koishii…  You're right…  I have been running from the truth for too long, but I…  I cannot deal with it yet…  When the war is over, I want to face your words.  I want to confront my own heart…  But until then, please…  Please be patient with me…" 

                _I still need the answers tomorrow can bring…_

                Tomoe was surprised by his words, but deep in her mind she knew he could not continue to kill, to be active in the war, without the part of him that gave him the merciless, inhuman strength he required.  More so than ever did she hate the war, yet, she hated even more the irony that had become painfully apparent to her…  For Kenshin to keep his sanity - Battousai was essential.  So many people had gone crazy with grief, with anger, because of the blood and death flooding the capital.  Battousai was the only way for him to block out that pain, to numb himself as he took life after life.  That cold persona had been given a title, always to be the shadow of the man she loved.  

_Kyoto will never forget him…__ will always hold such a dark history, dark memories, in the hearts of those who have seen the chaos…_

                "I can, and I will, my love," Tomoe whispered.  The simple words eased the pain that had been mounting in Kenshin's chest, and he leaned back, his heart beginning to steady.  He gazed into Tomoe's eyes and for long moments they simply indulged in the warmth of each other's company and understanding.  

                "I'm so happy… to have you as my wife," Kenshin whispered with a small smile, inclining his head to steal a kiss from his lover.  Tomoe smiled softly, comforted by his words, and ever so gently she met his lips.  The warmth tingled against her flesh, the kiss made unbearably sweet by the emotion and resolution it signified.  Tomoe promised herself she would find a way to undo what she had planned, and no matter what she would have to do, she would not let Kenshin's life be taken.

                "Tomorrow… tomorrow we should go into the village," Kenshin commented as he leaned away from Tomoe, his warm, careful hand caressing her soft cheek, seeking to call her thoughts to a lighter subject.  She smiled fondly, curious yet too distracted to ask of his sudden suggestion, faintly nodding as she moved her face into his touch.  Kenshin smiled lightly in response, unable to resist kissing her once more.  For long moments they lingered, lips caressing lips, Kenshin's hand carefully stroking over her hair.

                "Yes, we still have medicines to sell," Tomoe acknowledged as she placed one more kiss upon his lips, gazing upon him softly as she began to rise to her feet.  "I'll start breakfast now."

                "Aa."

                Quietly, as they had always done, Kenshin rose to make the fire as Tomoe set to put away their futon before preparing their meal and tea.  His gaze continuously wandered from his task to Tomoe as the flames built, appreciatively noting once again with what grace she folded their futon, sliding it back into its inconspicuous place before she moved towards him.  Routinely she lifted the small kettle from its place above the fire, moving to the tiny area of their kitchen and filling it with water before replacing it.  

                Kenshin grinned to himself, simply watching as she began to prepare the rice and vegetables with practiced grace and attention.  Tossing another log on the fire, he walked up behind Tomoe, placing his hands on her slender hips.  She smiled, but continued to slice the vegetables with precision.  Kenshin felt relieved she no longer had tears in her eyes, eagerly returning to the familiar routine born over the period of several months they had been living together.

                "It seems we had a successful first harvest," Kenshin observed as he watched her carefully handle each ripe vegetable.

                "I willingly admit I was surprised by your abilities in farming, but I am quite thankful for it," Tomoe replied with a smile.  Kenshin grinned, nuzzling her hair for a moment before taking a step back.  Tomoe handed him the herbs for the tea and he poured them inside the heating water.

                "The one thing for which I can thank my father," Kenshin noted absently, moving to the small dresser near the back of the house and retrieving a robe that would suffice for the day's chores.  Tomoe cast him a glance over her shoulder, but said nothing as she brought the vegetables to the table.  She watched Kenshin curiously, but he seemed lost in thought as he knotted the tie around his waist, habitually reaching for his katana before he realized he didn't need it.

                "Don't wander, I'll be done soon," Tomoe voiced as Kenshin headed toward the front door.  He turned and grinned, giving her an acknowledging nod of his head before sliding open the door, stepping out into the beautiful morning.  The slight breeze caressed him as he walked toward their small garden.  He hoped that if there were any irreparable damage, it would be minimal.  He decided then, as well, that while they were in town he would try to find another crop to experiment with before the winter set in.

                Looking upon the grounds he found that there were only a few places still flooded, nothing that couldn't be repaired with the right amount of care.  He glanced toward the sky, white clouds floating weightlessly in the endless blue, no longer threatening.  For today at least, Kenshin knew the weather would be astounding.  Should the weather remain as it was, the trip into town would be a welcoming one.  He smiled fondly then, his thoughts suddenly drawn to memories of the day before.  He recalled vividly Tomoe's slender, alluring body entrusted to his movements…  Her sweet voice pleading as she whimpered his name…

                Kenshin took a deep breath to steady his thoughts.  The wind danced by, tugging lightly against wild, crimson hair, reminding him of gentle hands eagerly pampering him…  

                _Tomoe…  _

                He gazed over the lands for a short while longer, willing himself not to think of what had happened that morning.  Yet, could he really ignore the truth set before him, of which he had been blinded to before?  He felt stronger knowing Tomoe was by his side, ever ready to support him with whatever he did, always responding with such understanding…  

Each day Kenshin found himself longing for a normal, simple life.  They could live quietly in the country, or in a city if she preferred.  They could have a home to call their own, take part in everyday life without a suffocating fear of the future.  He imagined walking with her in the evenings, quietly enjoying each other's company, worries light and distant…  Yet, for the time being, these were simply fantasies.  The war still hung like a black cloud over the lands, and Kenshin knew deep in his heart he would have to kill again.  He would have this dark past, dark title, to follow him for the rest of his life.  However, Tomoe somehow saw past the bloodshed, helped even himself see the truth of what he could be, how he could change, the life they could live…

Kenshin breathed deep of the morning, his soul resolute, his thoughts clearer than they had ever been.  He gave the sky one last gaze before he returned to the house, finding Tomoe setting the finishing touches upon their meal.  She kneeled at their small table, pouring the tea as he approached.  When she looked up to him he smiled, moving past her to a small chest and taking a dark strip of fabric from it, easily pulling his hair into a high ponytail.

                "After a bit of work today, we should be able to salvage a good portion of the crops," Kenshin informed Tomoe as he sat down with her, reaching for his tea.

                "I'm glad.  I was afraid the rains had come on too strong this year," Tomoe replied softly, watching as he sipped the warm liquid.  She couldn't help but smile when she looked upon him.  Over time she had come to notice how drastically his features had changed since they began living in the country, his practiced narrow eyes and stiff posture much more relaxed, his eyes glittering with life.  Part of her wished she had said nothing that morning, but another part of her was thankful they had been able to share their fears, to learn to confide in each other.  Her heart felt light knowing that when the war ended, there was a real life awaiting them - a thought that could always make her smile.     

                Lifting his chopsticks and bowl, Kenshin contentedly partook of the meal his wife had prepared.  Even with the limited availability of spices and meats, Kenshin always found himself savoring every bit of his wife's cooking that fell upon his tongue.  It was much better than anything his master had ever made, and simply knowing she had made it herself, just for him, each bite tasted better than the first.

                "Would you like to buy a new kimono tomorrow?" Kenshin asked, causing Tomoe to look up suddenly from her bowl.  She finished eating what food she had in her mouth and looked at her husband with surprise.

                "A new kimono?  I don't need one," Tomoe refused graciously.  Kenshin had expected such a response from her and grinned.

                "I'm sorry that we could not have an official wedding, and I'm not sure when we could, but I wanted to do something to celebrate," Kenshin replied, setting down his bowl and smiling upon Tomoe.  He watched as her eyes brightened, though she set her gaze upon the table.

                "I couldn't…" she protested quietly, but Kenshin continued to grin with subtle amusement.

                "Well, wouldn't you like something new to wear when I take you into town?  Forget about the medicine, we can have a day just for us," Kenshin replied.  He was delighted as Tomoe met his gaze, a small smile playing upon her lips.  Though the town was a modest abundance of simple houses, it was also home to a lovely restaurant and a few shops.  Yet, more than that, being in such a neutral, quiet town they were free to indulge in life as a normal couple.  For the first time they could truly enjoy themselves.

                "If it would make you happy, I cannot refuse," Tomoe replied, earning a deep grin from Kenshin.  Carefully she lifted her cup and sipped her tea, trying to hide the immense pleasure she felt from the plans Kenshin spoke of.  Yet Kenshin did not miss her telltale smile, overjoyed with her response.

                They finished their meal in a content silence, Tomoe gathering their bowls and cups and washing them in the small basin near the front of their home.  Kenshin then rose to his feet, grinning.

                "Delicious, as always, koishii," Kenshin complimented as he walked up beside her.  Tomoe smiled softly, continuing the cleaning.

                "When I'm done with this I'll tend to our clothes," Tomoe stated, causing Kenshin to glance toward her.

                "I can't let you.  As I said, I was the one to start that, so I don't mind having to clean up afterward," he replied.  He grinned as she shot him a mildly disapproving look, but simply kneeled to retrieve the clothes.

                "What about the garden?  If you start on the garden, I can finish up here then take the clothes to be washed and join you when I am done with that," Tomoe offered, her tone leaving Kenshin with little room to argue.  Kenshin chuckled inwardly as he rose again to his feet, leaving the clothes untouched.  If she so insisted on doing the chose, then who was he to say differently.

                "Alright, if that's what you prefer," he replied with tender amusement, sliding open the door and reacquainting himself with the morning.  Tomoe smiled to herself as she finished cleaning the dishes, walking to her small dresser and taking out a pale violet kimono.  Quickly she dressed, feeling an overall giddiness and excitement thinking of tomorrow.  With practiced grace she tied back her long raven hair, gazing at her reflection in the small hand mirror she owned, confident her appearance was acceptable before walking to the door and gathering the clothes into her arms.  She walked outside, breathing deep of the glorious morning, gazing upon Kenshin who was kneeling near one of the rows of sprouting seedlings.  He looked up, smiling as he returned her gaze, Tomoe's eyes glittering with contentment as she then turned to walk the short distance to a nearby stream perfect for their daily tasks of cleaning and fetching water.

                _The sun shines brighter, the air smells sweeter, the wind is more welcoming than I ever remember…_

                Kneeling down, she first took hold of Kenshin's gi.  The navy cloth was covered in a layer of dried mud, clumps falling off intermittently as she inspected it.  Dipping it into the water, she rubbed the cloth together, searching the bank for the soap she had forgotten the day before.  Sure enough it was where she had left it, and scrubbing the gi, she watched as the mud disappeared.

                _The stain of blood can also be washed away, anata…  _

                Pulling the gi from the water, she watched as the crystal droplets glittered with sunlight as they dripped from the fabric.  The simplicity, the beauty, Tomoe was struck again by the reality of how precious life truly was.  For so long she had immersed herself in hopelessness and anger, forgetting that it was the delicate balance of happiness and pain, joy and sadness, that gave people the will to live.  It seemed a cruel irony that a heartless assassin had been the only one capable of reopening her eyes to that delicate truth.  

Tomoe trailed her fingers over the navy fabric of Kenshin's gi before setting it aside, letting her gaze linger upon the stream, the shimmering water holding her attention for long moments before she found herself smiling fondly to some passing thought.  Reminded of her chore, she lifted Kenshin's hakama from the pile and submerged it into the water, carefully scrubbing as she had done the first, making sure to clean away every last smudge.  Such pleasant memories began dancing into her mind, bidding her only belatedly to hear someone calling to her.  Looking up, she gasped, eyes widening in surprise as her smile vanished.

                "Nee-san!  Nee-san!"

                Tomoe's breath caught in her throat, watching as a young boy sprinted towards her.  Her body felt paralyzed as she recognized the person fully - her younger brother, Enishi.  She could only stare as he ran, grinning, up to her.  Her eyes softened as the young boy gazed upon her, delight evident in his features as he kneeled down beside her.  His dark hair, those emotional young brown eyes - they were easily identifiable as siblings.

                "Enishi…!"

                "It's been so long!  I've finally found you, nee-san!" Enishi exclaimed exuberantly.  Tomoe was in shock, had never suspected she would ever see him again.  So many questions flooded her mind, and forgetting the clothing, she embraced her younger brother.

                "Let's go up to the house, we can talk there," Tomoe replied, rising to her feet.  Enishi's smile widened, rising as she bundled the clothes and began carrying them back to the house.  He followed readily, his young legs quick beneath him.

                "You can come back home, nee-san!  Finally!" Enishi chanted, seeming not to notice Tomoe's detached response.  She watched him, her eyes curious but alarmed.  _How could he have found me?  She felt relieved, joyous to see him, but a more dominant feeling of dread crept upon her.  Even more so as they approached the house and Enishi froze._

                Kenshin had noticed the slight movement in the distance, watched as Tomoe approached with a child at her side, his mind curious.  He walked towards them, confused as the boy looked towards him, his eyes narrowing to insolent black slits.  Tomoe looked strange as well, almost pale, and Kenshin instinctively followed them into the house as she made eye contact with him, unconsciously begging for help.  

                The boy seemed to ignore Kenshin as they entered, strategically keeping himself positioned between Kenshin and his sister.  Kenshin observed him silently, unable to shake the surprise he felt from the sudden, unannounced visitor.  From the looks of him, however, he could guess he was part of Tomoe's family.

                "Would you like some tea, Enishi?" Tomoe asked quietly, already beginning to prepare another pot.  Enishi simply nodded, watching Battousai attentively.  Casually Kenshin moved to stir up the fire, settling himself at the table once he finished and Tomoe set the kettle over the flames.  He had decided upon seeing them that he would wait for Tomoe to speak first of the situation.

                "Enishi, why don't you sit down?" Tomoe suggested.  As she had suspected, Enishi took one look at Kenshin and made no motion to go near him.

                "I'll wait for you," he replied in a decisive monotone, and true to his word, did not move from the spot until Tomoe moved to sit, pouring tea for both he and Kenshin.  Her brother then sat down beside her, staring into his tea if not at his sister.  As her gaze wandered between the two, she couldn't help but notice Kenshin's baffled, confused look was still dominant on his features, feeling somewhat at a loss of how to explain things.  Though, she knew, she must come up with something to ease the tension mounting in the room.

                "Himura-san, this is my brother Enishi.  I had sent him letters from Kyoto and he has tracked me down somehow," Tomoe explained quietly.  It felt awkward using such an honorific with his name, however she could think of no other way to address him in front of her younger sibling.  Kenshin flinched inwardly from the distance the simple word put between them, but it was also that which told him the situation was a complicated one.  Accepting her position for what it was, he observed the two for moments more before deciding on an action.

                "You two probably have much to talk about.  I'll be outside if you need me," he voiced in a low tone, politely excusing himself.  Something just didn't seem right, but if that should be the case, he would have to wait until Tomoe was ready to tell him so.  She had seemed relieved when he had left them, and again he couldn't shake the chill from the cold look the young boy had given him.  He also couldn't shake the disturbing truth of how the young man's eyes reminded him gravely of Tomoe's when he had first chanced to look upon her…

                "Enishi, how did you find me?  And who has been taking care of you?" Tomoe asked, worry dominant in her soft tone, speaking only as the door slid shut behind Kenshin.  The grin that formed upon Enishi's face was unsettling, enough to send a disconcerting wave of fear over her body.

                "When you left to Kyoto, I followed you.  I found the man who hired you to help destroy Battousai, and I am here to tell you it's time.  They have a meeting place set, and I'll tell you how to get there," Enishi explained, the disturbing grin still on his face.

                Tomoe's body froze.  The sting of reality penetrated through her entire body, and with her husband's smiling face in her mind, she leaned down to Enishi and cupped his face in her hands.

                "Enishi, please, go back to Edo.  Take care of father and forget about being involved in this," Tomoe pleaded softly, but in answer Enishi roughly jerked away from her touch, staring up into her eyes as his shimmered darkly with anger.

                "What are you talking about?!  I'm not leaving without you!" Enishi protested, shocked by his sister's words.

                "Enishi, please, go back home.  That is the best thing you can do for me right now," Tomoe responded softly, her gaze falling to the floor.  In answer Enishi grit his teeth, unbelieving of the words she spoke.

                "Nee-san…  What's wrong with you?!  He should die!  That man should die!  He is the one who stole your happiness - he is your mortal enemy!  How can you let him live after what he's done?!" Enishi demanded, fisting his small hands as he struggled to understand the foolishness of his sister's words.  Tomoe was stuck silent by his heated exclamations, knowing the truth in them well enough.

                "You are too young to understand.  This situation is beyond my control, and now I must find a different way to resolve things-"

                "He is Battousai!  Have you forgotten?!  He destroyed your life - destroyed ours!  How can you stand to even look at him?!"

                Taking a deep breath, Tomoe gently took her brother into her arms.

                "I'm sorry you feel you must come here and be part of this.  I have failed you if you think this is right, that this is just.  Akira-san's soul cannot simply find peace through the death of this one man.  He is like any man in the world," Tomoe attempted to explain.  Part of her feared saying anything directly about her relationship with Kenshin, knowing that surely her cold recruiter Tatsumi would force it out of him.  She knew deep in her heart what she had done he could never understand.  She herself may never understand, however, Kenshin was her husband.  She became his wife because they shared a love much deeper and more passionate than anything she had ever felt before.

                "Why are you talking like this?!  Why are you defending him?!  I don't understand you at all!" Enishi proclaimed, staring dejectedly at the floor.

                "I'm so sorry you have had to go through this Enishi, but please forget about it and go back to Edo.  My heart can never rest until I know you are safe with father," Tomoe replied softly, looking upon her brother with a pained look.  He scowled immensely, though as he sat with his legs crossed, hands fisted in his lap, his anger seemed to cool slightly.

                "I want you to come back," Enishi stated, brown eyes shadowed.  "I want you to have your revenge."

                "Enishi, I promise that when I have found closure, not simply for me but for Akira-san, I will return home and watch over you until you are old enough to begin your own life.  Until then, you must remain in Edo.  Kyoto is a very dangerous place now, and I don't want you near it," Tomoe instructed softly but with growing authority.  Enishi sat staring at his feet, pulling at the hem of his sleeve.

                "Fine.  But promise me as soon as this is over and Battousai is gone we can be a family again," Enishi began.  "I never want to see anyone hurt you ever again."

                "I know it's been hard for you to watch this happen, but promise me you will return to Edo.  Tatsumi is a very dangerous man, and he should never have even considered recruiting you," Tomoe replied, beginning to hate the man more than she ever thought possible.

                "Fine, but I will tell you, after the second snow in winter Tatsumi-san wants you to meet him in a small shack on the mountain to discuss Battousai.  It's simple to find if you follow the path to the west," Enishi added, looking up at his sister.  He could almost snarl, finding her face so cold and detached.

                "Enishi, I want you to take something to father so he knows that I'm alright.  Can you do that for me?" Tomoe requested softly.  Enishi merely frowned.

                "Battousai's the one who stole the warmth from you…  I would kill him myself if I could," Enishi threatened.  Tomoe's eyes widened.

                "Enishi, I forbid you to talk like that!  Death is not something to take lightly!" Tomoe stated, shocked by the darkness that had fallen over her brother.  His mouth formed a lop-sided grin as he watched her.

                "And what about Battousai?  He doesn't even give his victims a second thought!  He's a demon, a damn worthless-"

                "Enishi!  Stop, please!" Tomoe pleaded.  Once again her brother's horrid grin turned into an even darker scowl.  

                "What is it you want me to give father?  I can't stay long," Enishi informed his sister.  Deep in his heart he wished for nothing more than to protect her, absolutely livid at the idea she would now wish to defend such a damnable demon of a man.  Yet, he respected her, finding himself unwilling to deny her the small request, though he would not return to Edo unless she was with him.  He believed she could overcome this sudden foolishness and return to him.  Yet, Tomoe looked upon him sadly, placing her hand upon his.  At first touch, his hand twitched as though he would jerk it away, but he ultimately left it in her care.

                "Enishi, I have come to realize that the yearning for revenge is a deep flaw in a person's character.  It blinds you to the truth, makes your heart cold and hard.  I don't want you to go through that kind of suffering.  Yes, he did steal my happiness, but in turn I found out things about him I could never have fathomed were true.  I cannot explain these things to you, it is horribly complicated, but I only beg you forget what has happened and concentrate on building your own life," Tomoe whispered softly.  Enishi couldn't ignore the seriousness of her voice, the desperation, watching with dark eyes as she stood.  He hoped these things she had found out, that she spoke of, would be beneficial to Battousai's undoing - blindly believing she was still intent upon leading Battousai to his death.  He watched her walk to a corner of the house, carefully lifting her umbrella into her hands.  She gazed upon the deep, rich purple for a moment, tracing a finger over the folded cherry petal design before returning to her brother.

                "This is what I want you to take to father, and tell him I am alright.  No one else can watch over him now, and you being the eldest male child of the Yukishiro family must stay with him whilst I cannot," Tomoe explained on a gentle breath.  Enishi released an indignant exhale, but gave her a slight nod of his head as he accepted the object into his care.

                "You know I don't care about our family name," he replied flatly.  In response Tomoe merely watched him with sad eyes.

                "I know you don't mean that, Enishi," she replied, walking him to the door.  He continued to frown as he slipped into his sandals, Tomoe embracing him one last time as she stood there with him, sliding open the door and walking out with him.

                "I hope you come to your senses," Enishi stated in a low angry tone, clutching the umbrella to his chest, his hateful gaze falling upon Kenshin as he looked towards the two.  Kenshin simply watched, betraying no signs of acknowledgment to the irate expression the young boy cast his way. 

                Tomoe could say nothing as he turned on his small feet and began to walk away, frustration still evident in his young face.  She looked toward Kenshin then, yet he had already returned to working the field, his back to her as he carefully reset the soil, tool in hand.  

                Tomoe's lips were a thin line of upset as she returned back inside the house, lifting Enishi's untouched cup of tea.  Her mind quickly reminded her how thin he looked, of his disheveled black hair, how lifeless his eyes had become.  Lifeless until the dark glitter of revenge danced into his gaze.  It was a look a child should never hold…

                Glancing towards the clothes once again left in a pile by the door, she lifted the two garments she had washed, walking to the back of their small home where a line had been put up for the laundry.  Carefully she hung them, hands sliding over the dark fabric of Kenshin's gi, painful thoughts lingering of her brother.  Her chest hurt painfully, knowing full well that the time she feared with all her heart, the time she would have to confront Tatsumi, was quickly drawing nearer.  Maybe, when she traveled to the designated place, she could lie to him and save her husband.  Deep in her mind she knew it was a risky decision, probably destined to fail, but she latched on to the single hope that she could save his life.  She realized then, she still had to explain to Kenshin about her brother.  He seemed to accept her earlier explanation, but she knew he was not satisfied with it.

                Tonight, she decided, she would be able to come up with something by tonight.  Returning to the house, she slid open the door and grabbed her clothes, gazing upon Kenshin as she began the walk back to the spring.  His back remained to her, enveloped in his chore.  She felt relieved he was giving her time to herself, almost as if he understood the amount of upset it had caused her.  Or, suppose he didn't, simply unsure how to approach her.  In any case, she needed the time alone.

                The stream rippled in its familiar fashion, and Tomoe dropped the clothes to the ground, kneeling on the soft grass.  She gazed at her reflection in the crystal clear water, the picture broken by the movement of the stream, though she already knew she must look in a bad condition.  Dipping her fingers into the water, the cool liquid stroked against her skin, and for a moment she lost herself in the soothing serenity of nature.  A small fish swam past her fingers, and she smiled.  Life was so delicate, so beautiful…

                Enveloped in gentle thoughts, she did not notice Kenshin's presence behind her, a few feet off.  He watched her, his face a calm surface hiding the storm raging beneath.  Such a delicate woman, so loving.  He did not like the pain he saw in her eyes - a pain of which he had never seen before.  He wanted to approach her, though he hung back, not wanting to disturb her.  He recalled again how her eyes had been distant as her gaze fell upon him, seeming to look through him even as they cried out to him - a phenomenon ultimately causing the resurrection of the walls designed to enclose, almost imprison, his emotional self.

                He gave her one last long gaze before he returned to his small field, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath.  He lifted his hoe, driving it into the ground to upturn the soil, oblivious to what velocity and force until he stopped to wipe the sweat from his brow.  Unaware of how much time had passed, he glanced toward the house, finding Tomoe's kimono and robes hung next to his own.  She, however, was nowhere in sight.  

                His throat dry, his body feeling the effects of his diligent work, he let his tool drop to the ground as he headed toward the house.  As old habits took effect, he carefully opened the door, senses aware of everything around him.  He stepped into the house, turning the corner to stand in front of the small bucket of water next to the basin.  Dipping in a small cup, he drank eagerly from it.  

                _She's sitting with her journal._

                As he had slid open the door, he had heard the quiet yet unmistakable rustle of paper.  Again his emotions were being pushed deep down inside him, the knowledge of her sitting with her most private thoughts making him uneasy, an almost detached persona taking control of his mind and actions.  He took another drink of the cool water before returning to the door.

                "I'll be out to help you in a moment," Tomoe called to him in a small voice.

                "Don't worry about it, there are just a few more areas I need to tend to," Kenshin replied in a surprising monotone.  He waited for a few moments, but continued to head out the door when Tomoe made no response.

                He began walking - not really sure where he was going but neither did he care - with one single thought on his mind…

                _I should never have neared the house._

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Author's Notes: Okay, somewhat of a cliffhanger, don't kill me for taking so long!  Anyway, I'll probably end up proofing this some more after it's posted, but that's just a habit of mine.  A perfectionist's work is never done.  In any case, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter.  I wasn't too confident with it, but when I had some close friends of mine look over it, it was reassuring.  After being awake to give it a serious read over, I also believe I have created something worthwhile here.  Also, considering how things have begun to progress, a lemon with Battousai may be near approaching - what do you think?  Hopefully I'll be able to get chapter 4 out soon, and I most definitely will try if I get some feedback on this!  Anyway, questions?  Comments?  You can find my email address pretty easily, if you care enough.  Anyway, I wish all the happiness in the world to you and hope to see you again!

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	4. I Will Protect You (R)

Rurouni Kenshin OVA (Independent Series)

"Dominating Fate"

By: Goddess Nekko

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Disclaimer/Warning: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters, I just felt like creating my own OVA series, and so I will. Do not bother to sue me, I have no money anyway - and I will **_NEVER_** give up my Tomoe and Kenshin doujinshis!!!!!! This chapter will be rated R because of Battousai, a little angst, swearing, and adult situations, but no sex. I figure I should add I was kinda depressed when I first worked on this, so I think it is obvious where some of my angst leaked in, however it would have been there had I been in that kind of mood or not, so sorry (?). I think it's safe to say Tomoe and Kenshin really endure a lot of hardships trying to be together, but the thing is, they never give up. True love, man, true love.

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Author's Notes: Hi again! With two weeks of spring break, I am really dedicating myself to my fic! However, if I finish two chapters, I will not post them at the same time. That way I can have constant updates and time to work on future chapters, along with other fics I am trying to start. Well, as I mentioned, I constantly proofread, as I have done chapter 3, but if you read all my chapters in one sitting then I don't think you need to worry about it (for now). This chapter will be very cool, mainly because it's exploring Kenshin's darker half - a trip indeed. I'm just playing with the controversial issue of who and what Battousai truly is. Enjoy!

Thanks again to Midori who gave this a look over for me, and has always been giving me such support! If you haven't read her fics, then I really recommend you do! I also recommend Kracken cuz she really inspired me with her fics! My faves she's done are for the FAKE series, and oh man are they awesome!

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Chapter 4: I Will Protect You

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_He should die! _

Kenshin stared ahead at the land before him, eyes open but not really seeing. He could not fight the words plaguing his mind, tearing at his very soul, as the boy's voice continued to repeat with relentless force in his hazed thoughts.

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That man should die! 

The wind carried its bitter agreement, whispering softly into his ear. Unable to concentrate on where he was going, he simply kept walking, victim to the phrases resounding in his head. The forest seemed silent around him, willing him to hear only the tormenting exclamations.

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How can you let him live after what he's done?!

The pain of betrayal, the pain of failure continued to lash out at him, slicing at his heart while his soul fell deeper into its agonizing disarray of confusion. He sought answers, yet none came, only the hurtful words he was never supposed to hear.

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He is Battousai!

Kenshin grunted slightly as the stray branch of a tree swiped against his neck, his hand instantly reaching for the katana absent at his waist. He fisted his hand, losing the feeling of security and comfort that came with the weapon.

Have you forgotten?! 

Halting mid-step, Kenshin stared at the quiet waters lying before him. His legs had led him to the hotspring, a cruel joke against his aching soul. Such love, such trust had been displayed in this very spot, and now he tainted the memory with his very presence.

He destroyed your life - destroyed ours! 

Without thought he untied the sash at his waist, shrugging out of his dark yukata as he stared at the steady water. He stepped out of the fabric, slowly easing into the heat of the spring. His sore muscles found this to be a soothing balm, but he was unable to acknowledge it.

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How can you stand to even look at him?! 

Leaning forward, he splashed water onto his face. The dirt on his skin was being cleaned away, and he stared at his callused hands. For years he'd known no companionship except for the sword always at his hip - the only companion he had ever trusted. Amidst all the chaos, however, he had found a woman - a mysterious woman who had come to love him, and taught him how to love. Such warmth, such soothing emotions had begun to fill his life, giving him a purpose, a reason to go on. Yet, just as everything in his life seemed to have found some kind of steady direction, his world once again began crumbling beneath him.

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Idiot. _You knew nothing of her true intentions and gave yourself to her willingly_.

"No. That's not true. There's no proof ..."

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The boy's words. _You know not what they mean, but you do understand_. _Who did you kill_?

"So many... Too many... I..."

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Fool. _You were not meant to love, you cannot, you don't deserve it_.

"I don't deserve her..."

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But she is yours. _She is your wife_. _She belongs also to me_.

"You are a danger to her. You are not fit to be with her..."

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Yes. _I make you slaughter_. _I make you kill_. _But you are the one who conceived me_.

"No... I did not want to destroy life... I wanted to safeguard the future of the common man..."

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You swore your miserable life to her. _I will not watch you stagger_.

"Stay away from her. In time... she will come to me, tell me the truth... I believe..."

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Stupid boy. _She is your light, yet you are still running from the truth_.

"This is not your place to interfere... When the war is over, you will no longer exist."

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I will always be here. _I love her_. _I lust for her_. 

"You shall return to hell."

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Not before I know she is safe under your protection. 

"I..."

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Your heart wavers. _I will not wait_. _Her truth is yet to be told_.

"You have no business here. You don't know love, you know only bloodshed and death."

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And you are ignorant and indecisive. _I know your fears_.

"You know nothing..."

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She... _The only one who would truly mourn your death_.

"Shut up, damn you!"

Kenshin's fingers curled into a tight fist and he lashed out at the water, a faint, horrible laughter echoing in his mind as his reflection was destroyed. His breathing unsteady, he fell back roughly against the wall of the spring. Just like his dream that morning... The constant, confusing battles within himself... Battousai, lusting for his wife... Kenshin growled angrily as he brought his hands to his face, trying to hide, trying to find control over the emotions raging inside him. There was no peace... Even finding answers, there was no peace. Her brother, speaking of revenge and indulging in thoughts of his demise, left Kenshin's soul torn and bleeding feeling nothing but betrayal from his beloved.

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What can I do...? _Tomoe_... _I want to believe in your love_... _I want to believe in the truth of the words you spoke to me_... _But I don't know what to believe now_...

A shadow seemed to pass over Kenshin's face as he dropped his hands to the water. He stared up into the sky, stray clouds glowing in hues of orange and pink as the sun descended to the horizon. 

_I will not lose her to silence_. _I will find out the truth_. _I will find out what secrets lie hidden beneath that gentle mask of understanding_...

In exchange for the courage to face her, the strength to force from her the answers he sought, Kenshin gave himself over to the darkness within. His features were void of feeling, emotions buried deep where they could not reach him, and he grabbed his ponytail as he stepped out of the spring. Squeezing the strands, the excess water fell glittering to the earth, catching the fading light of evening as he lifted his clothing from the ground. Brushing the dirt from his robe he quickly drew it over his body, carelessly securing the sash around his waist. In the back of his mind he knew that to approach Tomoe in his current state was a less than ideal decision, however he was dead set to his task and could not be deterred from it.

The wind softly swept past him, speaking no words except of the welcoming of the night. Kenshin's heart pounded in his chest, but he could not allow himself to turn back. He was trained to act without hesitation, a basic survival skill when one is in the hands of danger. The danger lurking now was the loss of his true beliefs, the entire reason he had ever lent his sword and skills to the war, the Ishinshishi.

As he approached their home, more and more of his conscious thought was being silenced. There was the matter at hand, and until it was resolved, his emotional self would be locked away. His duty to his country, himself, and his wife was to know the truth of her purpose. If everything had been a façade, she a spy as he once suspected, he would have to treat her as such.

_No_... _I could never_...

Kenshin flinched inwardly at his own cruel state of mind. Was he truly seeking the truth or seeking his own type of revenge - revenge against the hurt she had caused, the pain of the lies and betrayal he suspected to be true...

Grunting slightly with disapproval, Kenshin immediately silenced his thoughts. To be emotional at this time would be his greatest downfall. This decision made, he pulled open the door, halting slightly as he entered finding Tomoe sitting at the fire, staring sadly into the dancing flames. Surely she had heard him enter, but as he slid the door shut with much more force than needed, she still acknowledged only the crackling fire.

"Tomoe."

Slowly raising her head to meet his gaze, Tomoe's lips parted in surprise. Kenshin stood before her, features accented wildly by the firelight dancing across the darkened room. Yet, this was not the Kenshin she had come to know. He stood before her like the man in past memories, face hardened and emotionless, eyes clouded. Tomoe's own reflex was to become expressionless, the sudden change drawing them both back to square one. 

"Yes?" 

Kenshin regarded her for a moment, then walked to the dresser where his katana and wakizashi sat waiting, nestled against the wall. Tomoe watched him through her lashes, the scar upon his left cheek drawing her attention, finding it a great contrast to his light skin, suddenly more conspicuous than she remembered. She decided then, his drastic change in mood must have been caused by her brother's appearance earlier that day. She, however, still had no story to explain his presence. She was also hindered by the greater sadness that she had to lie to him, no matter how much she tried to avoid it.

"Tell me... who are you?"

Tomoe gasped silently, yet moments later her features softened and she turned her gaze once again toward the fire. Though his tone was low, his voice even, there was an unmistakable sound of authority that demanded an answer. She closed her eyes, feeling his cold look upon her. He had every right to be angry, especially since she had been lying to him from the very beginning.

"I... I don't know anymore," Tomoe replied quietly. Kenshin released a displeased exhale in response to her answer, absently reaching for his wakizashi and lifting it from its resting place.

"No more games, no more lies. Your brother... what was he doing here?" Kenshin asked, his voice still an authoritative, demanding monotone. Tomoe's fingers gripped her kimono, fearful of the sound of his voice.

"I will not lie to you. He did come with a purpose to see me," Tomoe replied, her voice surprisingly steady, submissive. Kenshin's responsive look was less than pleased.

"Even if you don't lie, you are holding back too much information. Am I to truly believe you are not a spy?" Kenshin inquired, his serious tone piercing Tomoe's heart, she finding distrust and hurt evident in his voice even if he was trying to hide it with his suddenly cold exterior. She looked up at him then, Kenshin casually averting his gaze to his weapon. After a long moment of her silence, he again looked towards her, eyes dancing with suppressed anger.

"Well?" he demanded, his voice rough. She gave him a pained look before she once again dropped her head from his view. Kenshin watched her carefully, his first impulse to hold her, though instead he neared her and firmly gripped her arm with strong fingers. She called out quietly, yet kept her head bowed in submission, taking a deep breath before she dared to speak.

"Yes... I have been lying to you ever since we first met..." Tomoe breathed. She felt Kenshin's grip tighten painfully around her arm until he released her moments later, throwing his wakizashi with a loud, resounding bang against the opposite wall. Tomoe looked up at him, wishing nothing more than to tell him the truth, silent as she found his back turned to her. Unbeknownst to her an intense adrenaline was pumping the blood in his veins, and when he heard her movement as she began to rise, he swung round on his heels and gripped both her shoulders in his hands, falling on his knees before her.

"Everything... everything has been a lie? Everything has been damned lie?!" Kenshin growled, Tomoe silenced by the flashing golden eyes that peered threateningly into her own. She wanted to tell him, tell him everything, but neither her voice nor her body would respond to her silent pleadings.

_No_...! _That's not how it is_...! _I love_... _I_...

Tomoe looked away from him, finding so much pain in her beloved. Kenshin closed his eyes, his grip tightening upon her shoulders until suddenly he released her. Yet, as Tomoe turned to look upon him, his hand shot out to her, gripping her hair in a tight fist as he pulled her against him, crushing his lips upon her own. Tomoe's cry of surprise was muffled by his mouth, trapped against his body by his tightly encircling arm.

_Surely the truth in your kiss_...

For long moments he forced himself upon her, grinding his lips against hers, forcing his tongue inside her mouth. He plundered the sweet cavern recklessly, ignoring her small sounds of fright, indulging in her fear and vulnerability until he abruptly pushed her away from him, panting softly.

Tomoe met the floor with a hard thud, breathing heavily against the cold wood. A horrible, tense silence followed, eased only by their unsteady breaths and the crackling of the fire. Tomoe didn't dare move to rise, still too unsure of Kenshin's actions, suddenly aware of the faint taste of blood in her mouth. Slowly she brought her hand to her face, trailing her fingertips across her lips, a smudge of red liquid present as she looked upon her skin.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... If you want my death, so be it, but if you're love has been a lie... Let me live, because there is no worse pain you could force me to suffer through than that truth," Kenshin whispered, his voice suddenly tired and weak. Tomoe took a deep breath, unbelieving of the words he spoke. Very cautiously she pulled herself up, forcing herself to gaze upon the man she called her husband. 

She felt tears well in her eyes as she looked upon him, Kenshin's dejected form kneeling on the ground before her, head bowed. A horrible pain shot through her chest, a single tear sliding over her cheek as she moved toward him, taking him into her arms. Immediately he stiffened, his emotions still in bitter turmoil, torturous phrases repeating through his mind no matter how he tried to silence them.

"My love, please listen to me... Let me tell you my story, how things have come to be..." Tomoe whispered softly, unwilling to release her trembling partner.

"That is all... I have wanted," he answered softly, his tone just noticeably unsteady. His body remained rigid under her touch and Tomoe released a calming breath, bringing her hand to stroke soothingly over his soft, dampened hair as she sought to continue.

"Late last year... I was engaged to be married," Tomoe began, Kenshin silent and unmoving, though his eyes widened slightly anticipating the direction of her story. 

"He was very kind, very loving, yet he wanted to become an eminent man because he thought that was what I desired. In my heart I was utterly against his decision to leave to Kyoto and work as a bodyguard for the Shogunate, but I never told him so. I did not stop him because I could see he wished to do it not simply for me, but also for himself. However, my silence was the true reason for this tragedy... A few weeks after his departure I... I received word he had been killed in the streets of Kyoto, and in all my sadness and anger I turned my vengeance and rage against... the man who had killed him," Tomoe admitted softly, surprised as she felt Kenshin relax in her arms. Yet, his body hung in dejection, holding more hate and contempt for himself than ever before.

"That man... that damned man was me... I stole that precious life from you... The boy was right... How can you stand to even look at me?" Kenshin voiced, his low tone bitter and disgusted as he gently took Tomoe's wrists into his hands and pulled her arms away. She fought against him at first, but found herself suddenly weak, able only to watch as he turned his face away from her. Yet, she was surprised by his words, suddenly fearful of the information he presented.

"You... heard us?" she asked quietly, watching him with saddened eyes. She could again feel the chill from her brother's dark words, spoken with such misguided hate.

"Yes. When I went to retrieve my tool next to the house, I overheard a small part of your conversation. You should hate me, yearn for my death, but you do not. Or do you? Your true intentions remain a mystery to me," Kenshin explained, pain evident in his voice. In response Tomoe merely stared at the floor, brown eyes brimming with unshed tears as her emotional self became hard and unfeeling - the only way she could bring herself to tell him the truth.

"I sided with a group supporting the Shogunate. They eagerly took me in, and I have stayed with you because it was all part of this intricate plan to... to destroy you... I am ashamed by my lust for revenge... And though part of me will never forgive you, the other cannot ignore that I have been witness to the real man you are. All your struggles, your insecurities, your battles within yourself - it never occurred to me that you could be so human. I suppose the only reason I can accept you, that I can love you, is because I know the guilt that plagues you over every life you have taken... If things had been different, had you been out of reach of the war, you would never have taken up the sword," Tomoe explained softly. "I believe that..."

Kenshin raised his gaze to look upon Tomoe. Even now she was so understanding, so gentle. Yet, she looked as though she was in pain, carrying a heavy burden that was slowly but surely consuming her. He watched silently as a tear escaped down her cheek, leaving a glittering path across her pale skin. His expression softened, regarding her with sadness, his blue eyes shimmering with regret.

"But things are as they are. I have done much that I will always regret, that will be in the back of my mind every waking moment, but I cannot deny that you have given me hope. For the first time I felt love, could offer it in return, and it gave me a breath of the true meaning of life. I cannot change what has happened, and I will have to take many more lives before this war has ended, but I will never forget what you have taught me. I love you. I always will. If you left me now I would still feel the same," Kenshin confided softly, carefully raising his hand to brush his finger across her cheek, lightly wiping away the tear.

"I will not leave you. I cannot... Every day I suffer knowing I should hate you... that my feelings are sinful, but I... I couldn't... You are so dear to me..." Tomoe whispered, several tears escaping down her cheeks. Ever so gently, hesitantly, Kenshin took her into his arms, holding her as she sobbed silently against his chest. His heart ached at the pain in her voice, feeling absolutely helpless except for the yearning to comfort her, to make sure she didn't suffer alone.

"I am eternally sorry for the suffering and devastation I have caused you. I would never allow for you to forgive me. I am not worthy of it," Kenshin whispered. Inwardly he felt as though his heart had been run through, stabbed carelessly over and over, leaving him on the verge of death but conscious enough to suffer from every ounce of pain there was to feel. Yet, he endured, finding it a suiting punishment, and dedicated himself ultimately to soothing his lover's pain.

"You did not know it was him... You did not know... He would have done..." Tomoe repeated softly, desperately, complete thoughts broken by her sobbing. In response Kenshin held her tighter, gently hushing her.

"There is no excuse for what I did, but I swear it, Tomoe... I... I will protect you. To offer what little respect I can, I swear to you, to the man you loved... I will protect you," Kenshin whispered. Tomoe embraced him tightly, hugging him close against her. She had been afraid that whence the truth had been spoken, Kenshin would have wanted nothing more than to leave her. But now she felt his warmth as he held her against him, shaking ever so slightly. She flinched inwardly thinking of what he might have done in her position, how foolish and weak she must seem to have fallen in love with the man who had killed her late fiancé. She hated her heart, the instability, but she knew this man before her was not a cold-blooded murderer. He was a soldier during war times, killing because he had to. Everything was strategy and survival. He fought for the future of peace he believed in, and she knew deep in her heart that had he been any less skilled, Akira, or anyone else with the same passion, would have killed him. Even her deceased beloved would have murdered if placed in the position. As gentle a man as she knew Akira to be, he was only human, and just like the man holding her now. That was the truth that permitted her to love him…

"I hate it... I hate this war... All this unnecessary bloodshed..." Tomoe whispered bitterly, salty tears gliding over her flushed skin. Kenshin frowned slightly in silent agreement.

"But as I promised you, it will end, and you will see the dawning of a new era, koishii," Kenshin breathed against her ear. He would never lose sight of that single goal, the hope that gave him the passion and willingness to go on even if he had begun to forget it as the years wore on. His words pulled a slight smile from Tomoe, born from the vow he whispered to her, and she leaned away from him, seeking to gaze into his eyes. As she had hoped, the dark sapphire oceans shimmered with gentleness, looking upon her softly.

"Anata... I love you... I love you so much," Tomoe whispered, caressing his cheek with the gentle stroke of her hand. He smiled softly then, turning his head to place a kiss against her palm.

"We will get through this. We will create a new life... A life where I can give up killing, where we can begin a family in the safety of the new era," Kenshin promised, losing himself in the warmth of Tomoe's soft smile.

"Yes... A life where we can live in peace..." Tomoe responded gently, breathing deep of her husband's musk as he inclined his head, caressing her lips with his own. Carefully he brought his hand to cradle her head, his free arm sliding around her waist as he eased her onto her back.

Tomoe parted her lips slightly, tasting of Kenshin's with the tip of her tongue, urging him to respond with a deeper caress of his mouth. He answered her tenderly, bidding his tongue to lick lightly against the small wound he had inflicted before carefully slipping past the pink flesh. His tongue stroked gently against the velvet of her own, settling himself over her as they engaged leisurely in the delicate, reassuring movements of lips upon lips, tongue against tongue. The heat of their bodies mingled between them, Tomoe guiding her hands over Kenshin's back as he lay comfortably between her thighs. He loved the feel of her hands against him...

For long, lingering moments they kissed gently, slowly, indulging in the sweetness of such intimacy. The truth had finally been spoken, feelings and emotions untangled as new trust embedded itself into their relationship, offering them a new beginning. A beginning without lies, without deception - a real chance for life. Yet, many unanswered questions and uncertain matters lay before them, the future still a very dark and dangerous place.

Reluctantly Kenshin broke the kiss with one last caress of his lips and tongue against her own, sighing deeply as he situated himself to let his head lie at the base of her breasts. Tomoe closed her eyes, breathing in the moment, gentle hands stroking over his hair as he nestled himself against her. He was surprised by the comfort he felt lying against her in such a way, but he simply closed his eyes as he cherished the thought and their closeness. 

_Always so warm, so soft_... _Tomoe_... _My beloved_...

Yet, his ever-interfering mind quietly but persistently insisted he must confront the matter at hand. Kenshin sighed deeply, upset he had to end the moment though he knew it was unavoidable. 

"Tomoe, who is it that manipulated you? He's not long bound for this earth," Kenshin voiced in a low tone, truly hating the person who had so cruelly taken advantage of her shattered, vulnerable state.

"His name is Tatsumi, a general from one of the Shogunate's troops. He plans to meet with me in the near future, but I'm not sure where he would be now. And... and I'm afraid that if he has even the slightest suspicion I would betray him... he will kill my brother," Tomoe replied, her soft tone angry but fearful. Kenshin suddenly recalled the youth, the already complicated situation doubled.

"How did he come to be involved with them? And..." Kenshin moved his head slightly, as if trying to get more comfortable, not really sure if he wanted to ask his second question. Tomoe opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling with detachment as she absently continued to stroke Kenshin's hair.

"He says he followed me here, and they found him wandering the streets. I suppose they were so willing to recruit him because they could have him to use against me," Tomoe stated, her soft tone hardened at the thought. Kenshin was quiet for a moment, analyzing the situation as he searched for a plan.

"Tomoe, who else is involved? There must be another spy among us since the only people who know about me are a few select members of the Ishinshishi but someone from the opposing side knows I'm here. They would not have been able to use you if they had not known of my whereabouts," Kenshin replied, recalling his earlier thoughts. Tomoe frowned slightly, knowing the information may hurt him. It was never easy to face the truth that someone you had trusted had ultimately been betraying you.

"Yes, there is someone. He had been cooperating with Tatsumi for a long time before I came... and is someone you are familiar with," Tomoe answered softly, feeling Kenshin jerk almost undetectably. His eyes widened as he recalled a face, the one man who had come to visit them, that Tomoe had never been able to stay in the company of...

"Iizuka... I should have known!" Kenshin bit out, angry with himself for having been so blind. All the pieces seemed to be fitting together, past suspicions he had instantly dismissed suddenly flooding back into his mind. All those times he spoke of Tomoe, urging him inadvertently to become closer to her... His hand fisted, but Tomoe gently hushed him, placing her hands upon him in a restricting manner as he moved to rise. He turned his head to look at her, and she quietly shook her head, Kenshin acknowledging her with a detached nod of agreement as he resettled himself against her. He closed his eyes, listening to the steady beating of her heart.

"Yes, becoming enraged now will solve nothing... For the time being it is too dangerous to do anything that will rouse suspicion, but tell me Tomoe, when does Tatsumi plan to make his move?"

"Enishi told me he wished to meet with me at a cabin in the woods after the second snowfall to discuss you," Tomoe replied, the same anticipating fear from before creeping into her somewhat relaxed state. She suddenly felt the urge to ask Kenshin to hold her, to wrap her in his arms and never let go, but remained silent as he began to speak.

"Hm... When we go into town tomorrow I will see if there's some way I can relay a message to Katsura-san. He must know about this as soon as possible," Kenshin replied, talking more to himself. "But for the rest of tonight, I don't want to think of it."

"Hai," Tomoe agreed quietly. She smiled softly as Kenshin's stomach suddenly made a small sound of disapproval, alerting Kenshin to his neglect. He let out a small chuckle in response, the tense anger he had been feeling broken in that moment.

"Today has been such a blur, I'm so sorry I haven't prepared anything yet," Tomoe voiced apologetically as she moved to rise. Kenshin put his hand upon her in a restricting manner, not wanting to move from the comfortable position just yet, but another resounding grumble from his stomach won the argument.

"You have spoiled me, koishii. I've gone days without eating and never had so much trouble," Kenshin replied with subtle amusement as he sat up. Tomoe smiled, but seemed slightly upset at the same time.

"As long as I am with you, that shall never be an issue," Tomoe replied as Kenshin rose to his feet to help her up. He put his hand out, pulling her up as she accepted his assistance. He grinned then, gazing into her eyes as she stood silently before him. The firelight danced in her almond gaze as she watched him curiously, his hands moving to rest lightly on her hips, losing himself in the fathomless, glittering depths of her beautiful eyes. He realized then that he could not picture his life without her beside him.

"Koishii..." he breathed, tightening his hold on her hips as he gently pulled her against him, inclining his head ever so slowly to meet her lips. Tomoe's gaze softened, dark eyes glossy as she raised her lips to meet his. She trembled slightly as he met the soft warmth of her flesh in a feather light caress, his tongue darting out to lick once more against the still lightly bleeding wound he had inflicted upon her. His fingers twitched against her cloth-covered skin, holding her tighter as a strange yet intriguing tingling sensation washed over him, again sampling the sweet, metallic taste of her blood. 

_I never imagined blood could be so_... _so_...

Kenshin groaned softly as he wrapped his strong arms around Tomoe's slender body, pulling her firmly against him. He wanted more, wanted to taste of her completely, his tongue delving into her mouth for mere moments until he broke the kiss, pressing his mouth against her neck. Tomoe's lips parted, silently panting as he grazed her skin with his teeth, eager hands pulling her encumbering kimono away from her shoulders as he bit into her jugular, sliding his hot, searching tongue over the sensitive flesh. He opened his eyes as she moaned softly into his ear, his gaze falling upon the wakizashi lying on the ground across the room, the flash of partially revealed metal reflecting in his eyes. Unable to prevent it, his body responded to sudden dark, erotic thoughts whispering into his mind, imagining lying Tomoe beneath him and leading the sharp blade across her silken skin, trailing his tongue over the blood that would trickle forth as he listened to her moan... He pulled his hips back slightly, then pressed them forward again, Tomoe gasping softly as she felt his stiffening arousal pressed against her.

Tomoe's body became awash in heat, anticipation pumping her blood knowing full well Kenshin could do anything he wished with her, would if she permitted him... She gripped his robe with desperate fingers, trying to support herself as his slick tongue tasted of her flesh, nipping and biting as he breathed against her. Her heart fluttered restlessly, eyes closed as she indulged in his almost aggressive ministrations. His warm hands caressed her, Kenshin's rational mind intoxicated beyond comprehension as he breathed deep of her natural scent and perfume, tasted completely of her flesh... Yet as his control began to slip away and his hands slid recklessly over the curves of her body, his stomach once again voiced a complaint, halting everything all at once as Tomoe giggled in spite of herself.

"Anata, you need to eat," Tomoe smiled, laughing softly as he looked at her with an almost embarrassed grin, mildly irritated by the interruption, the overpowering lust that had almost taken complete control of him cooled slightly. Desire still sang through his sense, but he decided it was best to stop now, not feeling completely like himself. Especially as he remembered the vision that had flashed through his mind just moments before...

"I suppose you're right," Kenshin replied, taking a deep breath as he brought his hand to slide in a light caress over her pale cheek, watching her with a deeply loving gaze. She smiled softly before turning away, retrieving a bowl to prepare some rice. Kenshin's gaze followed her graceful movements, taking another deep breath as he sought to ignore the pulsing between his legs. He glanced towards the fire, deciding it would last long enough to fulfill its purpose before letting his distracted gaze wander the room. He quickly caught sight of the metallic flash of his wakizashi, walking over to it and lifting it into his hand. 

Kenshin stared at the partially revealed blade before he sheathed it and returned it to its original place. He frowned then, realizing these weapons would soon taste of flesh and bone, drink at the splurging blood that came forth. His skill would always lie within the sword, but surely there was a sword somewhere in the world that would never bring death. He wondered idly if such a thing could exist - a blade that couldn't kill.

"Anata?" Tomoe voiced, both curious and mildly worried by his detached look as he gazed upon his weapons. Kenshin snapped back from his thoughts, turning around to face her. She watched him curiously as he approached, setting down the cup of tea she had poured for him. She had pulled her kimono back upon her shoulders, however his roving hands had loosened it and the delicate curve of her breasts was just visible beneath. He swallowed hard, turning his attentions toward the hot liquid, finding his stiff erection very uncomfortable. 

"Sorry, I was just thinking of... nothing," he replied, finding his idea foolish as he sat down at their small table. Tomoe regarded him quietly, however she did not speak again until she had set his food before him. 

"Thinking of what, my love?" Tomoe prodded gently. He stared at his food, then looked up at her, his expression serious.

"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked, used to her engaging in meals with him. Tomoe nodded, motioning to the bowl she had set down beside her. He looked at it, wondering how he had not seen it before. He knew then, for certain, that his current state was almost the equivalent of drunkenness. As of the moment he was utterly distracted by both thoughts and emotions, thankful for the privacy and somewhat safety of their home. He had no reason to believe his enemy would make an attack if everything was already planned out, that Tomoe should be meeting with him in the coming months. But what exactly was this plan? How many people and parts were involved? Even if they could escape, what would stop the Shogunate from hunting them down? How would he keep Tomoe safe as he rejoined the war? He couldn't deny that he had no intention of leaving his duty just yet, especially if Katsura and Takasugi were simply waiting for an opportunity to regroup and move against the Shogunate. Of course the Bakufu soldiers were still in hot pursuit, becoming almost inhuman in their hunt to slay the Imperialists, but they were still-

"Anata!"

Kenshin looked up suddenly. Tomoe was looking upon him with slight worry, Kenshin somewhat surprised she had raised her voice. Unbeknownst to him it was the fifth time she had called for him.

"Your food is going to get cold," she mentioned, her voice much softer. She wasn't sure whether or not she should interrupt his thoughts, but he looked alarmingly serious and she was beginning to feel uneasy. In response Kenshin simply glanced from her to his dish.

"Sorry," he offered as he lifted his bowl, though he sat it back down upon the table as he continued. "Tomoe, you're not safe here. You're not safe with me. When I return to the war, I have to find a place for you to stay. That is, once I find a way to deal with Tatsumi. As long as we don't make a move until the time he has appointed to see you, he won't have a chance to go into hiding or prepare for it."

Tomoe watched him with curious eyes, understanding why he should be so distracted. She stared down at the table, thinking of Edo...

"I suppose it would be too dangerous for us my brother and I to return to Edo temporarily..." Tomoe whispered, wishing he would say it would be okay, that everything would be fine, though she knew his answer would be the exact opposite.

"Yes, right now it would be. Once Tatsumi has been dealt with and I know you can travel safely, maybe it would be good for you to return there for a while, but for now, let's concentrate on getting your brother out of the Shogunate's grasp," Kenshin replied, surprised by her words. It had never occurred to him that she might become homesick. To him that seemed like a luxury, realizing the only true home he had ever known was the house he shared with his beloved...

Tomoe was quiet then, thinking of her brother. She stared at her food, wondering how well they were taking care of him. Surely they wouldn't be able to force him to eat if he refused, probably wouldn't care. She felt sick just thinking of her brother living in such conditions. Yet, this brought another problem to surface. How would she explain to Enishi that Kenshin had become her husband...? That they must somehow become a family... It was a hopeless idea to expect him to accept it, but somehow they would have to get through it...

Kenshin and Tomoe both sat silently, picking at their food as they mused over thoughts of the future. It seemed bleak indeed, but neither could give up that easily. They had come too far... 

The fire snapped, and Tomoe looked toward the flames. Kenshin glanced up as well, suddenly awestricken by her quiet beauty as he chanced to look upon her. The firelight danced across her skin, shining like gold, her dark eyes glittering...

_Tomoe_... _You're so beautiful_...

"Hm?" she voiced, sure she had heard Kenshin say something, turning her head to face him. He smiled softly, unable to draw his eyes away from her.

"I was just admiring you, koishii," Kenshin admitted, feeling again the waning pulse that had been so troublesome before. Amidst the firelight he couldn't decide whether or not there was a blush coloring her cheeks, but the thought delighted him, gazing upon her as she replied with a shy smile. Such sweet, soft lips... He yearned to taste her once again, to cover her with his kisses, but he held back knowing she must be as emotionally exhausted as himself.

They finished their meal in silence, Tomoe collecting the bowls as Kenshin rose to his feet, moving to unfold their futon. The blankets looked more than welcoming to his weary body, wishing nothing more than to sleep off the day's troubles. 

He grinned as Tomoe appeared beside him moments later, slipping underneath the covers as Kenshin ushered her to do so. Once he lay down beside her, she curled up against his chest, Kenshin lazily playing with a lock of her silken hair as he gazed at the shadows dancing upon the walls.

"Anata... I..."

Kenshin's gaze shifted to Tomoe, leaning to place a kiss upon her forehead before wrapping his arm around her, noticing the urgent, fearful sound of her voice.

"What is it, koishii?" he asked softly, feeling the full force of exhaustion pulling at his eyelids. To keep himself awake he continued to play with the strand of her hair, fascinated by the silk between his fingers.

"My... my brother..." Tomoe replied, her words leaving her lips in broken thoughts as she continued to question whether she really wanted to bring up the subject now or later. In response Kenshin let out a deep exhale, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

"He'll be fine, don't worry, Tomoe. You have my word," Kenshin replied, closing his eyes as he held her against him. Tomoe stared at his chest, the fabric of his yukata, finally deciding to tell him what her true worry was.

"I know... I trust you... But, I don't know what will happen when he finds out we are married," Tomoe admitted softly. Kenshin was surprised by her words but found an opening of his own to speak, also worried about that particular subject.

"Yes. I couldn't help but notice he seems to hate me with every fiber of his being," Kenshin mentioned, remembering those dark, hate-filled, spiteful eyes. Tomoe moved against him, a nervous habit as she tried to make herself more comfortable.

"Even before... when I was engaged... You see, he thinks of me as both mother and sister, so it is hard for him to, well, share me... He had some minor fits, but I don't know how he'll react to this when I tell him," Tomoe whispered, the quiet warmth of the moment chilled by memories of the boy.

"He'll just have to get used to it," Kenshin replied, not really thinking, but catching himself thereafter. "I'm sorry, what I meant was that he may hate the idea at first, maybe even forever, but someday he will understand. If not just for you, because he loves you so much, he should learn to be tolerant. I'm not sure how things will happen, how they will turn out, but I will do my best to make sure our lives run smoothly. I cannot stop him from hating me," Kenshin breathed, sure in his mind that the boy may cause serious problems in the future, but confident that Tomoe could calm him.

"It's my fault, you know... That he hates you so much... I taught him all the wrong things..." Tomoe replied quietly. Kenshin instantly took note and dislike of her words of self-reproach.

"It's not your fault, Tomoe. He is still young and naïve, but he still has time to learn. I'm already prepared to face life with you, no matter how it comes to us, and it's my own fault he hates me. I was in the wrong, did something he could never forgive, that you cannot, that I cannot. However, placing the blame now will do nothing. I'm almost glad he should treat me with such contempt. I still wonder how you can look beyond the bloodshed, beyond the killing, but deep in my heart I am selfish and wish not to think of it. As I said before, you have given me a second chance. I will not waste it."

"Anata..." Tomoe breathed, finding truth in his words. Yes, part of her could never forgive him, but she could never deny all she felt for him.

"Yes, I see past the bloodshed, I see past the killing... I see the man who stands with a sword in hand to protect the future... If Akira... if Akira-san had been placed in the same position, he would have murdered as well... That's something I have finally come to understand, to understand that much more of why you do it, how you can..." Tomoe confided quietly. Kenshin gathered her into his arms and embraced her tightly. Tomoe sighed softly, eyes closed as she cuddled against him, comforted by his warmth. 

After a few long moments, Kenshin loosed his hold, curled closer to his beloved. Her warmth eased him, quieted his thoughts and musings, and he closed his eyes. Again he was given the privilege, the blessed privilege, to hold his wife in his arms as she slept. He breathed deep of the sweetness of white plums and all that was Tomoe, whispering his devotion into her ear, heart firmly set to keep her with him always, to give her a new life when he had already taken one away.

"All I want to see is the future... the end of the war... with you by my side." 

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Author's Notes: Aw... so sweet... Well, did you like it? Did you not like it? I hope everyone noticed how he lapsed into the Battousai persona, if it wasn't obvious enough. Very subtle, but some of the things he said it was like 'whoa OOC', but not LOL He's a very interesting, complicated character to analyze! At first I decided a lemon with Battousai might not work out because he would feel too much like he was forcing her, raping her even (thus he pushed her away in fear of himself). But I have come to find that when he has been pulled into that mind-set, the thought doesn't automatically occur to him (thus dirty evil vampy thought lol), so if anyone was disappointed I did not include a lemon and would like me to do so, please say so. I am going to start work on the next chapter immediately. Damn, I got so much inspiration for this chapter and I had so much fun writing and proofreading it! Yeah! Man, it's the best feeling! Well, I wish happiness to you and hope you'll continue with this story!

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